HMN 2025: Facing something unforgettable

We want to tell children who are despairing in the dark that there is no such thing as a ghost, that ghosts are just a figment of our imagination. As a trauma researcher, writer, and therapist, I’ve learned that ghosts really exist. Ghosts exist when there are unresolved issues or stories left behind. These ghosts actually have a ghostly presence. They whisper in our ears or appear in the dark corners of our eyes. They walk across our hearts, tugging at our conscience and begging us not to forget. And yet, sometimes all we want to do is forget these ghosts. Because they are much more than we can bear.

Having worked in the field of moral hazard for decades, the number of ‘ghost stories’ shared with me is staggering. People who have betrayed their core values ??and sacred beliefs, whether intentionally, unintentionally, or unavoidably, have felt great pain, harm, or even devastation. They struggle with guilt, deteriorate with shame, question their own goodness or self-esteem, bury strange stories in shallow graves, swallow scary things, suffer in silence, and realize that they have become or are becoming “monsters.” I was afraid to tell others. Many morally damaged people have a deep sense of a divided soul, which causes them to withdraw from life-sustaining relationships.

This is a self-guided experience. moral hazard. Moral harm occurs when a person’s core moral foundations are violated in high-risk situations. These violations can change the way we view ourselves, others, and the world, and cause behavioral changes that indicate a loss of trust, connection, self-worth, and meaning. We agree that moral harm is multidimensional in nature: psychological, emotional, biological, social, behavioral, relational, and spiritual, and therefore requires an interdisciplinary and integrative approach to healing.

Forgiveness in general, and self-forgiveness in particular, has been identified as an important factor in healing moral wounds. Forgiveness is a complex neurocognitive, emotional, and spiritual process that has received much attention across disciplines and has been shown to have positive benefits for all aspects of health (Bremault-Phillips et al., 2022; Haikola, 2023). Past research has focused on studying forgiveness in relation to others, but less research has focused on self-forgiveness. As of this writing, no self-forgiveness program exists that fully addresses the multidimensional and embodied nature of moral wounds.

Introducing 6 ways to achieve self-forgiveness

To fill this gap I developed the following: 6 paths to self-forgiveness (6-FPSF; DeMarco, 2024), an interdisciplinary narrative-based therapeutic writing process for treating moral injury, especially self-induced moral injury. This protocol utilizes theoretical literature, evidence-based psychological interventions, spiritually oriented practices, creative arts, and physical exercise for mental health counseling and spiritual/religious ministry. Among these include: Embodied public therapy. (EDT; DeMarco, 2022); Adaptive Disclosure Therapy (ADT; Litz et al., 2016), narrative therapy (Freedman & Combs, 1996; White & Epstein, 1990) physical experience (SE; Levine, 2010) and the psychedelic integration model (Frymann et al., 2022; Siegel, 2010).

The purpose of 6-FPSF is to transform self-blame, self-rejection, and self-alienation resulting from self-induced moral injury into self-worth, self-integration, and moral resilience.

6-FPSF consists of two phases, each phase having three components and objectives.

Step 1: Recognize

1. calculate: Retribution is a cognitive process of examining one’s conscience. The transgressor (or the person seeking self-forgiveness) confronts, acknowledges, and considers the harm done openly, kindly, and together. compassionate honesty. They also evaluate their role in the transgression, admit fault, and accept responsibility. Retribution is an intentional movement toward self-forgiveness by an individual understanding how his or her moral identity is unique.
2. remorse: Regret is an emotionally driven process. honest sadnessWhen a person metabolizes difficult truths; Allow and accept unpleasant feelings, emotions, and sensations. We appreciate the damage caused and the impact of the values ??violated. Acknowledge changes in perspective and changes or rifts in relationships. And they assert that the pain they feel is actually a sign that their core values ??are still intact. They also bring awareness to “core wounds.”
3. Adjust: Reconciliation is a psycho-spiritual process that puts an end to hostility toward oneself and brings one into harmony with others and the world. To reconcile, the person must resolve internal dissonance (i.e., feeling divided), overcome self-deception, recognize and accept the limits of responsibility, honor the past, integrate painful memories into the larger story of one’s life, and , making yourself available for the “moment of.” Elegance.” Coordination requires: dynamic balance, This means remaining flexible, open, and accepting and restoring bonds of trust, self-worth, and meaning.

Stage 2: Soul Reconstruction

1. correction: Rectify is an action (action-oriented) process that fixes damage and restores right relationships. Here, a person speaks up about the nature of the transgression (because it is safe to do so), receives a compassionate and honest response, makes amends if possible (if not, creates a gift or ritual), finds new purpose, recognizes value, and Exploring harmful attitudes and beliefs. It also determines steps to prevent future damage and implement new boundaries. Modification Requirements positive intentionThat is, it acknowledges that the person is “acting in good faith” with honest wishes, pure motives, and good intentions and is doing the best he can. Good faith is a sign of moral integrity.
2. recreation: Reinvention is an embodied process of integrating painful experiences into a source of wisdom and guidance and creating new, coherent narratives. The person moves from self-alienation to being “at home” in the world. They also embrace self-acceptance and self-compassion, pursue self-control and self-expression, and advocate honesty and authenticity. Paying attention to personal growth and respecting their intrinsic self-worth is essential to reinvention. Re-creation is similar to Japanese art. long writing.
3. maintain: Remain is also an embodied process of engaging self-forgiveness as a “way of being.” It is more than an attitude, a mood, or a set of actions. Rather, it is an ongoing process of holistic feeling and moral resilience (Rushton, 2016). It does not culminate into the final point of the spectrum, but remains sustainable in conscience, character, choice, commitment, community and contribution.

As moral impairment continues to receive attention, researchers and practitioners must address commonly used treatments for PTSD, particularly those that overcome barriers to cost, accessibility, and stigma, as well as the negative emotions that accompany self-blame, self-blame, and moral hazard. This is particularly important because research (Corona et al., 2019) has shown that committing moral violations is associated with increased suicide attempts.

The 6-FPSF addresses this important need by addressing the multidimensional problem of moral injury and the intrapersonal and interpersonal aspects necessary to foster moral recovery and moral resilience. 6-FPSF is designed to promote self-forgiveness in those who have suffered moral injury and can be a useful tool in re-establishing an individual’s self-worth, trust, and essential bonds to life-sustaining relationships.