40-somethings starting second families 20 YEARS after first giving birth


  • Pregnancy rates among over-40s are more than double those of 1990
  • Some are only just starting family at 40
  • Others are becoming mothers again decades after first having a baby
  • Trend revealed in forum on parenting website netmums.com
  • Mothers reveal joy and concern over giving birth again in their forties
  • Many starting new family after breakdown of previous relationship
  • Celebs like Pearl Lowe in similar circumstances
  • She had first child at 19 and last at 41 creating a 22 year age gap

By
Lucy Waterlow

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A growing number of women are having babies decades after they first became mothers.

A forum discussion on popular parenting website netmums.com has revealed how some are expanding their families after feeling bereft by their first born flying the nest, while others are starting again after meeting a new man. 

Netmums user ‘Sandi E’ from Luton started the thread after discovering she was pregnant at the age of 42 and wrote to see if anyone else was in a similar situation.

Age gaps: Pearl Lowe, left, and Uma Thurman have both had children in their forties more than a decade after they first became mothers

She wrote: ‘I have just found out I’m pregnant and am 42 years old. Not my first baby but it’s been 20 years since my last one! Just wondered if there are any other “older” mums to be out there.’

She went onto explain that she is expecting again after starting a new relationship with a man who doesn’t currently have any children.

Despite being pregnant before, she said it felt like the first time again due to the years that had passed in between and raised a discussion on how maternity care has changed over the decades.

The expectant mother was heartened by the responses to her post as numerous women joined the thread to share the news they were also expecting again in their forties.

‘Debby D’ from East Yorkshire wrote: ‘I’m in a very similar situation I’m 40,
pregnant with my third. Got a son and daughter who are 24 and 22! This
will be my partners first too! Very exciting to start again.’

Expanding family: Pearl had her oldest daughter, Daisy, left, when she was 19 with Gavin Rossdale and then had three more children in her current relationship with Danny Goffey

In the thread, the women discuss their fears over lack of energy as an older mother and worries that they will feel isolated given many friends their own age no longer have young families.

But they have all found support and companionship in the online forum – something that wouldn’t have been available to them when they first fell pregnant 20 years ago.

‘Tina H’ posted: ‘Hi ladies, really glad I found this thread, I’m 38 14 weeks
pregnant with my fifth baby! My kids are 21,19, 16 and 11 and I have three
grandchildren too! I’ve found the care with this baby brilliant, they
seem to really look after us “older’ mums”.’

The thread reflects figures released by the Office for National Statistics earlier this year that found pregnancy rates among over-40s in Britain are more than double those of 1990.

More women over 40 are now becoming pregnant than girls under 18.

Rise in older mothers: More women over 40 are now becoming pregnant than girls under 18

The rise has been attributed in part to women having better career prospects – leaving them to delay motherhood till later in life – and the rising costs of buying a home and raising a family. They also said ‘the instability of partnerships’ was a cause – leading women to start a new family following the breakdown of a previous relationship.

A number of celebrities fit the trend. Among them are Pearl Lowe, 44, who first became a mother at the age of 19 when she fell pregnant with daughter, Daisy, now 25.

Pearl has gone on to have three more children with her husband, Supergrass drummer husband Danny Goffey, giving birth to their youngest when she was 41-years-old.

She said Daisy – whose father Gavin Rossdale has started a new family of his own with Gwen Stefani – was delighted to become a big sister again to a sibling 22 years her junior.

Actresses Uma Thurman and Jennifer Connelly are other stars who have had children in their forties with a new partner more than a decade after they first gave birth.

Pulp Fiction star Uma was 42 when she had her third child with boyfriend Arpad Busson. She already had two children, Maya and Levon, with her ex-husband, Ethan Hawke, who were 16 and 12 when they welcomed their half sister.

Meanwhile Oscar winner Jennifer had her teenage son, Kai, when she was 27 with photographer David Dugan, and then had children Stellan and Agnes in her late thirties and early forties with her current husband, Paul Bettany.

Commenting on the parenting phenomenon, Siobhan Freegard, founder of Netmums, said: ‘Having children in your 20s and again in your 40s can potentially mean you spend up to 40 years bringing up kids – and while that’s a tough challenge for any mum, more and more are doing it.

New start: Some women are becoming mothers again later in life due to new relationships

‘In some cases, women have a new partner later in life and want to give him a child while they still can. But for others, the trigger is when their older children leave the family home and they miss the closeness and comfort of family life, so opt to have another baby.

‘Having a second family can be a big shock as older mums sometimes say they have less energy than when younger, but on the flipside, they are more experienced and having done it all before, are less likely to get stressed.

‘But what is positive is that increasing numbers of women are financially secure and healthy enough to make this choice and build the family which is right for them.’

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