A new year looms. And with it, inevitably, maybe eternally, springs new hope. Hope for a good and happy year — of, by, and for any of us. Hope, of and by any of us, for those we love. Hope for all of us. Hope for a world.
Of march to some extent, such long-lived wish triumphs over experience. Experience tells us a entrance year will be during best many like those that came before, a decoction of good and bad, a mix of triumphs and disasters. And nonetheless we brave wish usually a same — even to live happily ever after, after all.
Our culture, even as it perpetuates a tradition of lofty hope, tends to provide a heights of such naïve nightmare harshly, revelation us — in cinema and music, on radio and speak radio, in books and in chaff — that such is usually for a angel tales.
And, indeed, a bar is set rather high opposite happily ever after, built — as a hopes for it tend to be — on a substructure of a many insinuate and elemental relationship. Built on love.
We tumble in adore usually as they do in angel tales — truly, madly, deeply. We fall, drunken and diverted.
But we tumble in adore not usually finding any smashing thing about a partner, any a uninformed and enthralling epiphany. We tumble in adore finding a partner finding usually such things about us. We are, alas, selfish creatures all. So, that is a heady, distilled decoction — and we splash deeply of it. We, from a humblest among us to angel story royalty, splash a same spirituous libation.
Perhaps it is aromatic with symbolism that a stipulation of such obnubilated complacency sustaining ever after is fundamentally followed by: “the end.” For surely, that helps a good deal. Were it not a end, a prince, however gallant, would positively get a runny nose on some occasion, and take to his bed with a box of tissues and an upsetting disposition.
The princess, however superb and lovely, would positively have her headaches or cramps during intervals. There would positively be those days she would wish zero in sold to do with a king — and would positively need him to keep his hands to himself.
Even a angel tales themselves seem to acknowledge that for a apex of ideal tranquillity to persevere, a story contingency end. For even illusory characters are disposed to imperfections — and that many some-more so a rest of us.
Which brings us afterwards from angel story books, to a bookkeeping we all do. For love, and happiness, and happy ever after all have a chance, depending on how we comment for them.
Having seen once on a time in a lover’s eyes a picture of ourselves as we would like to be, we essay to grasp it — and so for a time, continue a myth. Inevitably, a strength declines, a courtesy wanders, life intercedes. And we fail, in some tiny way, to be what we were dreamed to be.
We will destroy in usually this approach and others, again and again. Some failures smaller, some no doubt larger. And we will demeanour again into a lover’s eyes to see where we landed.
He or she will decide. He or she will remind us of a rarefied perspective we share of one another, and offer us a palm adult onto a pedestal. We will dance this dance ever some-more knowingly, ever some-more conspiratorially as a years go by, meaningful a pedestal is something of a distortion. But it will be a amatory and common distortion, and all a improved squeeze for wearing a patina of an inside joke.
Or, he or she will uncover us where we landed — and leave us there. A bit reduce any time. A bit obtuse after any stumble.
It’s all a matter of accounting. He or she might repository any improved bid we make, and pardon a unavoidable transgressions. Or s/he might total those transgressions and forget to see a improved angels of a nature, essay opposite business and a inadequacies by that they are encumbered in this neighborhood.
And if we come to see a bit reduction of ourselves in a eyes that told us what we were worth, we are afterwards value less, to ourselves and everybody else. And reduction prone to try. And some-more prone to fail. And so it goes.
So it goes, all too often, between lovers. So it goes between friends. So it goes between us and them. So it goes between peoples and nations, parties and denominations. So it goes and goes, around a universe for that a wish wells adult again as a new year looms.
Happy ever after is not unfit any some-more than it is easy, or likely. And certainly, it can be dispatched by projectiles from without. But distant some-more often, if it is undone, it is dismantled from within; it withers, since we select to let it. Happy ever after is probable after all — if we total a reasons for it in one another’s eyes. And remember because we started to keep that tally. And remember to keep on doing so. And remember to remember.
And so as a new year looms, my wish is that we do… remember. What seems to occur usually in angel story books is permitted to us in a genuine universe — if a accounting is fair to it, and we keep a right books.
And so we offer my boring wish for good accounting, a happy 2013 — and ever after — to we and yours.
-fin
Dr. David L. Katz; www.davidkatzmd.com
www.turnthetidefoundation.org
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