Husband married for 30 YEARS has no idea who his wife is

A woman who has been happily married for more than 30 years has been left devastated after her husband forgot her.

Christine and Gary Newman from Hereford had the perfect marriage, and loved spending time with their three children and six grandchildren.

But two years ago Mr Newman was struck down with encephalitis – a rare but serious condition where the brain becomes inflamed – after being bitten by a fly.

Christine Newman from Hereford has been happily married to Gary for more than 30 years but has been left devastated after he forgot her

Mrs Newman now acts as her husband’s carer – and the devoted wife spends hours every day poring over family photos with him, in a bid to jog his memory

Since coming out of hospital, 59-year-old Mr Newman has forgotten his whole family, and the virus has left him with almost no memory.

Mrs Newman, 58, now acts as her husband’s carer – and the devoted wife spends hours every day poring over family photos with him, in a bid to jog his memory.

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She said: ‘It’s like I’ve lost my husband – his body is there, but he’s not inside. I feel like I’ve lost my soulmate – sometimes I feel like I’m grieving for him.

‘We’ve been married for more than 30 years – but my husband doesn’t know who I am. He’s just completely forgotten our whole lives together. 

Mr and Mrs Newman are pictured after getting married more than 30 years ago (left), and Mr Newman is seen walking his daughter Nina down the aisle on her wedding day (right)

Mr Newman, who has three children and six grandchildren, is pictured with his daughter Sarah on her wedding day

‘He knows who people are, because I tell him every day, but he can’t remember them – we’re strangers to him.’

Mrs Newman went to hospital to shower him, help him go to the toilet, and brush his teeth

The nightmare began in May 2015, when Mr Newman was bitten by a bloodsucking Blandford fly, which infected him with the herpes virus and caused encephalitis.

Mr Newman, a self-employed builder, had been attacked by a swarm of the biting flies when he was working outside one afternoon – but he didn’t think much of it, and carried on working.

When he got home, he complained to Mrs Newman that he was feeling under the weather – and after taking a paracetamol, he went to bed. But later that night, Mrs Newman was horrified to wake up to find him having a seizure.

She rang 999, and paramedics rushed him to hospital – and four days later, after a lumbar puncture, he was diagnosed with encephalitis.

He was put on antibiotics and spent a further three weeks in hospital, but from that moment he had completely lost his memory of Mrs Newman and his family. 

Mr Newman studies photographsof his grandchildren on the wall at his home in Hereford

Two pages in Mr Newman’s diary, which include notes on an operation and his wife’s schedule

In May 2015, Mr Newman was struck down with encephalitis – a rare but serious condition where the brain becomes inflamed – after being bitten by a fly

She said: ‘On the first day in hospital, before the diagnosis, Gary still knew me. By the fourth day, he didn’t know me at all.

What is encephalitis?

Encephalitis is a relatively rare condition, with around 4,000 new cases each year.

Young children and older people are more prone to contracting encephalitis which causes the brain to become inflamed because their immune systems aren’t as strong.

The condition kills around 10 per cent of those who suffer from it.

Sufferers normally show flu-like symptoms initially which leads to more serious symptoms within days such as seizures, changes in mental state and changes in personality and behaviour.

It can be caused by infection, the immune system reacting to something non-infectious like a tumour, or it can just develop naturally over several months.

A Japanese version of the condition can be transmitted by ticks or animals with rabies.

Long term effects can include memory loss, epilepsy, changes of personality, problems concentrating and extreme fatigue.

According to the NHS, the best prevention for encephalitis is to ensure you have had the MMR vaccine and to maintain good hygiene to avoid common infections. 

‘It was horrendous to watch him deteriorating – the doctor told us he was very seriously ill, but to see him fading in front of my eyes was awful.

‘He was conscious, but he was in his own little world – he wasn’t with us, he didn’t know who we were.’

Mrs Newman became her husband’s carer – she went into hospital every day to shower him, help him go to the toilet, and brush his teeth.

When he finally came home, she had to re-teach him everything from scratch – from making toast to using a knife and fork, and even what Christmas is.

When they should have been celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary in October 2015, all she could do was show him pictures of their special day and pray he’d remember.

Mrs Newman said: ‘I never realised his memory loss would be so bad. I always just thought he would get better – but two years later, he still doesn’t really know me.

‘I tell him my name every day, and tell him I’m his wife – but he just looks at me blankly.

‘We go through the same things most days – I tell him everything about our lives, and he writes it all in a diary to try and remember.

‘There are pictures everywhere in the house, and every day we’ll sit down and go through our wedding album and family pictures. 

The couple met after mutual friends set them up on a blind date – and as their 32nd wedding anniversary approaches this year, Mrs Newman still hopes her husband’s memories will return

Mrs Newman had to re-teach her husband everything from scratch – from making toast to using a knife and fork, and even what Christmas is

Blandford flies: Small, dark and dangerous

• Blandford flies are squat and dark – and usually seen from May to early August
• The bug used to be found only in streams in rural southern England but it has been moving into towns and cities, encouraged by the popularity of garden water features. 
• An outbreak in Hereford in June 2011 led to hundreds of people seeking medical treatment 
• Unlike other biting flies they are small enough to crawl through fabric and clothing to attack the flesh.
• Females use their lacerated mouths to chew through the skin and feed on blood just before mating.
• They prefer the taste of human blood to animal blood – and ankles and feet are their favourite targets.
• Victims, who are usually bitten on the leg, report a short, stabbing pain as the fly’s saliva enters
• The flies bite with scissor-like mouth parts which form a pool of blood on which they feed
• The bites can cause swelling and joint pain, as the body releases histamine, and a high temperature.
• While mosquitoes and horse flies feed in the evening, Blandford flies prefer to eat in the middle of the day.
• The Blandford fly gets its name from the market town of Blandford Forum and surrounding villages on the River Stour in Dorset, where the insects were originally identified. 

‘He gets very upset and angry, because he can’t remember – he knows what’s wrong with him but he can’t change it, and it makes him frustrated. 

‘It really upsets me, seeing him like that makes me want to cry.

‘Looking back over all our memories is heart-breaking for me – remembering what we did together and all the happy memories we had, and not knowing if Gary will ever remember it or if we’ll be able to make new memories.

‘Before the encephalitis, we had a really loving marriage – it was fantastic. People always used to comment on how in love we still were.

‘But now, I can’t even hold Gary’s hand anymore – he won’t let me touch him. It gets very lonely for me, but I’d never consider putting him into care.

‘I married him because I loved him, in sickness and in health, and I couldn’t do it to him – if it had happened to me he’d have done the same and looked after me.’

It had been love at first sight for the couple, who met after mutual friends set them up on a blind date – and as their 32nd wedding anniversary approaches this year, Mrs Newman still hopes her husband’s memories will return.

She said: ‘He’ll often say, ‘all I want is my brain back and to remember everything’.

‘It’s been hard to deal with his personality change too – before he was very gentle, placid and very loving, but now the smallest things can frustrate him. 

‘But I still have hope he’ll turn round one day and remember me – that’s what keeps me going.

‘He definitely won’t get any worse, and to some extent he has improved in terms of remembering day-to-day tasks – so maybe one day, he’ll remember everything else too.’

Mr and Mrs Newman daughter Nina is fundraising for a neuro specialist and psychologist to help with her father’s rehabilitation. Click here for more details.