NHS mental health director left suicidal from depression

Mandy Stevens began to show initial symptoms of depression in November
But within 10 days, she was suicidal and was admitted to a mental health unit
She has spent the past 12 weeks ‘completely disabled’ in an inpatient ward
But after being discharged last week, she has shared her story to provide hope

Stephen Matthews For Mailonline

Published:
09:59 EST, 19 January 2017

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Updated:
10:33 EST, 19 January 2017

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A former NHS director of mental health has revealed how depression crippled her life within just 10 days.

Mandy Stevens, who is also a registered nurse, began to show initial symptoms of the devastating mental illness in November.

But within little more than a week, she was left suicidal and was admitted to a mental health unit.

The condition has caused her to spend the past 12 weeks ‘completely disabled’ in an inpatient ward in the City Hackney Centre for Mental Health, London.

But after being discharged last Friday, she has now shared her story to offer hope to millions of sufferers across the planet.

Mandy Stevens, a former NHS director of mental health, began to show initial symptoms of depression in November. But within little more than a week, she was left suicidal and was admitted to a mental health unit

In her LinkedIn post, entitled From NHS Director to mental health inpatient in 10 days, she said: ‘This selfie, taken late November, shows a Mandy that no one will recognize: tearful, distraught, matted hair, frightened, withdrawn, desolate and desperate.

‘So so so far from who I normally am; a confident, competent, extrovert, professional, independent woman. This is what mental illness has the power to do.

‘I’m sharing this awful picture and my story to help increase understanding of the impact of mental illness and to celebrate my recovery.

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‘I am recovering from the most terrible depression that ripped the heart and soul out of me.

‘There is no immunity; mental illness can come out of nowhere and affect anyone at any time.’

Initially, the nurse of 29 years, who spent Christmas Day under constant supervision, shared her post on Facebook.

But after being discharged last Friday, she has now shared her story to offer hope to millions of sufferers across the planet

But the huge backlog of positive support she received from her friends encouraged her to use other forms of social media to address the stigma of mental health.

Comments such as ‘I never thought someone like you could go through this’ spurred her on, she said.

Having worked in the mental health sector for 29 years, many assumed she wouldn’t be vulnerable to the effects of depression.

But the condition caused her to hide herself away from others, as she said she was ‘scared of her own shadow’.

Ms Stevens thanked her mother for making a six-hour return journey each week to be beside her during her difficult time.

While she praised her ‘wonderful’ friends for giving her the motivation to keep going – even through her darkest days, and the staff who provided 24-hour care.

‘Please don’t pity me for having a mental illness. Instead, wish me well for my discharge and full recovery,’ she added.

‘I lost my mind, lost my self esteem, lost my pride, lost my sense of who I am, lost my confidence, lost my job and my income, lost my driving license and my independence.

‘But I am slowly picking up the pieces… like a smashed vase, glueing itself together in to a beautiful mosaic. I will be strong again. I will be OK.’