The Myth of ‘I Should Have Done Better’

People do all manner of things that hurt others and that hurt themselves, but it’s because they haven’t yet learned to operate differently. They may not be healed from past emotional wounds. They may be repeating unskillful behaviors they learned from their families. They may not have cultivated strengths such as courage, patience, self-discipline, or patience, that allow them to be successful in their relationships and careers. And they haven’t yet learned to use the tools of communication and negotiation. But I’m convinced that we are all doing the best we can with what we know.