The same concerns are important at bedtime. Knowing why a toddler is resistant to going to bed or unlikely to remain in bed when they wake at night is key to helping toddlers and parents create a healthy, happy sleep environment. Herein we offer some insight into the whys and whats of toddlerhood and then some practical suggestions about helping infants, and their parents, sleep. Â
Toddler Sleep Around the World
One of the primary concerns that parents raise, especially in many Western cultures, is that toddlerhood is the time when independence must be learned and parental responsiveness may hinder this development. Let us first assure you that the benefits of responsiveness to your child do not end in infancy, but rather that responsiveness to distress remains key to secure attachment and positive social and emotional outcomes for children (for a review, see Grusec, 2011).Â
If you have been bed-sharing or co-sleeping, often parents worry that continuing this practice into toddlerhood will lead to negative outcomes for the child. This is perpetuated by self-proclaimed “experts†who scare parents into believing they must take a hard line. But is this supported? Around the world, toddlers regularly sleep with their parents, and not just out of necessity. In Bali, children regularly sleep with their mothers until the age of 3 (Diener, 2000). Mayan children also share their mothers’ bed and often nurse throughout the night until 2-3 years of age (Morelli et al., 1992). Among the Ifaluk of the South Pacific children sleep alongside their parents until about 3 years of age (Le, 2000). In Japan, family members traditionally sleep in the same room, with many children even sharing their parents’ bed (Fukumizu et al., 2005). In Sweden, approximately half of children aged 4-5 are bedsharing with their parents at least part of the time (Welles-Nystrom, 2005). In Japan, children traditionally sleep with some adult (e.g., grandmother) until adolescence.
Even in North America, long-term outcomes associated with bedsharing outside of infancy support normal, healthy development (Barajas, Martin, Brooks-Gunn, Hale, 2011). Notably, at age 5 there were no cognitive or behavioural problems associated with bedsharing between the ages of 1 and 3 in a US sample of low-income families.  Being responsive or even bedsharing will not inhibit and likely promote your child’s independence or emotional growth. Regardless of your sleep arrangements, the following sections should help you navigate your toddler’s sleep and help you all find solutions to any sleep problems you may encounter.
Knowing your Toddler
Toddlers are often misunderstood as they try to meet their own needs and the needs and expectations of family and society. Toddlerhood is a time of emotional, biological and social change as the transition from babyhood to a new level of independence and growth occurs. A time matched only by adolescence in level of challenging developmental changes for your child and necessary challenges in childrearing for parents.
Why Sleeping Can be Hard: For toddlers, energy abounds. Toddlers want to ‘do it’ themselves; they love to show you , tell you, direct you and ask you; and most of all, they love your company. So why would a toddler want to walk away from the excitement of being with you to go to sleep? Well, they often don’t! Thus, they do not make or maintain that transition without support and guidance. It is completely normal for toddlers to wake during the night.; they wake and may reach out for teddy, or something comforting with smells of mom; Toddlers may call out; termed “signallingâ€. Some toddlers signal once a week, others once a night or numerous times a night, or some not at all (Weinraub, Bender, Friedman, Susman, Knoke, Bradley, et al., 2012) .
A Waking Toddler is a common concern for parents, with research showing that over half of children over one are waking regularly (Scher, 2001) and at least one-third of all parents of toddlers report having a ‘significant problem’ with their child’s sleep (Armstrong, Quinn, Dadds, 1994). So, worrying or being concerned about your toddlers’ sleep is not unusual. However, just as in infancy, guiding them toward settling and providing comfort at night can help them return to sleep without negative consequences. Not responding can leave toddlers anxious or unsettled. Most important to remember, a waking toddler is NOT being naughty; they are trying to communicate something with their behaviour.  Many parents respond to toddlers’ waking with discipline (Armstrong et al., 1994)—yet there is no indication that this is helpful in promoting sleep or positive development.
Sure, sometimes it is ‘in code’ but with gentle kindness and a sense of someone being there for them, toddlers can find sleep.
Other posts in this series:
1. Baby Sleep Training: Mistakes “Experts†and Parents Make
2. Letting Crying Babes Lie? So Wrong
3. Simple ways to calm a crying baby
4. Normal, Human Infant Sleep: PART 1,  PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5
5. Understanding and Helping Toddler Sleep: PART 1, PART 2, PART 3
6. The illusions of self-soothing
7. Making breastfeeding and sleeping easier
8. Gentle strategies for encouraging toddlers to need less parental intervention at night
9. Controlled crying techniques: Difficulties and dangers
10. What are parents’ moral responsibilities about infant sleep?
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Co-Authors
Tracy Cassels, University of British Columbia, www.evolutionaryparenting.com
Sarah Ockwell-Smith, babycalming.com
Wendy Middlemiss, University of North Texas
John Hoffman, uncommonjohn.wordpress.com
Kathleen Kendall-Tackett, Texas Tech University, http://www.uppitysciencechick.com/sleep.html
Helen Stevens, Safe Sleep Space
James McKenna, Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Laboratory, University of Notre Dame, www.cosleeping.nd.edu
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References
Tags:
bedtime, bedtime routines, circumstances, cry it out, desperation, disagreement, expectation, experiences, health professionals, infancy, insight, nbsp, negative outcomes, parents, responsiveness, sleep, sleep training, toddler sleep, toddlerhood, toddlers, western cultures, whys, worldone
