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Why I’m Afraid of Love


afraidcrpdYup. we pronounced it. I’m fearful of love.

Specifically, I’m fearful of being loved. Loving others. And amatory myself. If there is any form or sell of adore we have left out, usually for a record I’m substantially fearful of that too.

Over a years as I’ve complicated opposite faith paths and philosophies, we have mostly been meddlesome to hear saints and good beings pronounce of a energy of a adore experience. Jesus frightened his disciples so bad when he let his middle adore out (commonly called a “Transfiguration”) that their fear inept them and they fell over.

I can usually suppose I’d conflict a same way….or worse.

In another new post we common how many we suffer a papers of enclose Miguel Ruiz, who, incidentally, is not fearful of love. Thank goodness.

While we don’t always know what Ruiz is articulate about in his books, we am always unequivocally receptive to bargain it. Recently we systematic Ruiz’ “The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to a Art of Relationship.” we was unequivocally vehement when it arrived.

Unfortunately, we found it to be so surpassing that after carrying it in my possession for 3 days, we am still on page dual of section one. On this page, Ruiz writes, “You have a energy to create. Your energy is so clever that whatever we trust comes true. You emanate yourself, whatever we trust we are.”

On a subsequent page he goes on to write, “You have used all of your life to be what we are, and we do it so good that we master what we trust we are. You master your possess personality, your possess beliefs; we master each action, each reaction. You use for years and years, and we grasp a turn of poise to be what we trust we are. Once we can see that all of us are masters, we can see what kind of poise we have.”

Here we can see clearly that we have mastered a art of fearing love.


But afterwards on a subsequent page Ruiz writes something even some-more exciting. “To turn masters of love, we have to use love.”

Of course, to my love-fearing ears this sounds like Ruiz usually educated me to use doing snakes (I am also utterly fearful of snakes). But on a and side, he didn’t contend we have to hoop tangible snakes (technically, “love” is some-more like a practical lizard with practical fangs). So we motionless I’d give it a go.

That was about 3 hours ago, and I’m still doing okay. The thing is, we do have lots of adore in my life. we have lots of relations in my life. we have my family. My friends. My mentors. My colleagues. My village (MentorCONNECT). My bird Pearl. Myself. Some of those relations overlie and of march some are deeper or closer than others.

The indicate I’m perplexing to make (to myself and to we if we are still reading) is that we already possess transparent explanation that we have survived a ravages of adore so distant with many of me still mostly intact.

So we have motionless that for now we will continue to “practice love” as Ruiz suggests.

Whenever we am perplexing to learn something new, or unlearn something old, my coach always likes to remind me that recognition is a initial step towards progress. we unequivocally like this, and it is unequivocally germane here since until about a week ago we wasn’t wakeful that we was fearful of love. Now we am. So now that we have that believe about myself, we can do something about my fear.

Hopefully (best box unfolding here) we competence even be means to lift off what all a good masters seem to like to suggest – that is to renovate my fear into, well, love.

Today’s Takeaway: What is your attribute with adore itself? Do we adore it? Like it? Hate it? Dislike it? Fear it? All of a above? Or something else? What works for we to emanate a some-more trusting, connected attribute with adore itself, with yourself and with a people we adore and those who adore you?

Fearful lady photo accessible from Shutterstock


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    Last reviewed: 18 Apr 2013