Others have told me that they took the opposite tack. They became brash – dominating conversation, not letting others finish their sentences. It feels like arrogance but it’s really insecurity (as arrogance so often is). If they don’t do all the talking, they’ll be completely lost.Â
Dating is especially difficult. Do you begin by saying, Hi, I’m Katherine and I have hearing loss? Maybe. Actually for me, at 65, that would be the first sentence. But at 15, 25? No way.
We know that somewhere between 15 and !9.5 percent of teenagers have some degree of hearing loss (the two best studies can’t agree on the numbers). Whichever number is correct, that’s a lot of teenagers with hearing loss. But most of them don’t know anyone except themselves with the condition – or think they don’t. Since most people don’t acknowledge early hearing loss, it’s impossible to know who has it and who doesn’t.
Why? As I’ve said many times, hearing loss carries the stigma of aging. The false stigma. Of the nearly 50 million people in the United States with Hearing Loss, fewer than 15 percent developed their loss after 70. The majority of men and women lost their hearing in the decades before they turned 50.Â
If we could recognize this stigma for the false perception that it is, maybe we could start to treat people with hearing loss the way we treat people with any other difference. Why aren’t there clubs in high school where people with hearing loss can talk over their experiences and strategies, and feel comfortable among others like them. Where is the equivalent of Deaf pride? Why do college students do everything they can to pretend they’re hearing. One young man I know who went on to become a successful physician told me he never heard a single lecture in college or in medical school. He studied the textbooks. It was only when he was faced with real life medicine – fellow doctors in masks, the need to relay information by telephone – that he realized he couldn’t fake it any more.
A couple of weeks ago I went to a meeting of a New York group of young professionals with hearing loss. Most belonged to the HLAA, but didn’t attend the local meetings because the participants were  older and they didn’t feel they were part of that community. This group was a community, and the members were the stronger for it. They shared experiences about dating, job interviews, restaurants, technology.
I’ve referred several people to that group. But people in other cities have asked me if there are similar groups for young professionals – or young people period. I don’t know of any. If you are reading this and you know of a group of people with hearing loss who are in their 20’s, pass along the information, where the group meets and when, who the contact person is.
Hearing loss is coming out of the closet, but it’s a slow process. We all need the support of others like us. For me, the HLAA has been invaluable. But I think younger people want to be with people like them. So if you know of a youth group, or a college association, or a high school club – pass it along. Even if people don’t live in the area and can’t join your group, they might be inspired to form their own.
And if anyone can come up with a term equivalent to Deaf Pride, it’ll help a long way toward establishing hearing loss as just another difference. We need an identity, a catch phrase to help us recognize each other, and ourselves.Â
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