The myth of the sexually liberated life of communes is persistent, even though research shows a different reality. According to postdoctoral researcher Anna Heinonen of the University of Eastern Finland, the idea that roommates would have very free sexual relationships with each other is a strange concept in modern commune living.
Heinonen is studying sexuality and gender in Finnish communes. During her research, she has noted that people living in communes occasionally feel the need to emphasize that choosing this form of housing has no sexual connotations.
“People living in communes are aware that the perception of communes as places of free love is still going strong, and they want to bring up that this is not the case.”
Based on the preliminary observations of the study, sexual relationships are part of commune life to the same extent as other things that take place inside the walls of one’s home, and occasionally it is possible to have open discussions about them. Still, in a shared home, sex can create some tension.
“Sexuality is a conflicted topic. Even though most people nowadays think that sex is normal and good for people, we are still struggling to be completely open about it. There have long been taboos associated with sex, and they still have an impact, even in communes.”
Awareness of other bodies always present in communes
Heinonen has previously studied intimacy in friendships and roommate relationships in communes and shared flats in Finland. In her new research, she wanted to turn the spotlight on gender and sexuality because there is little research on the topic.
“Previous research was based on the idea that non-normative sexuality or gender brought about opportunities to live in experimental and atypical relationship arrangements. I wanted to turn this question around and examine whether an atypical form of housing affects gender and sexuality.”
Heinonen sought people to interview through channels focused on communal living on social media. More than 120 Finns living in communes responded to the survey anonymously.
“Your home is a very intimate place where you know a great deal about the people you live with, like their bathroom and shower habits. Due to the closeness that comes from living together, questions related to sexuality are also inevitably present in roommate relationships.”
Heinonen says that this conflicts with the fact that people who live in communes consider their relationships to be nonsexual.
A relationship interrupts commune group dynamics
The different sounds of life are among the intimate factors affecting the daily life of communes. Some respondents said that being aware of their roommates on the other side of the wall has led them to change their sexual habits.
“For example, some people have sex really quietly, or they have sex at their partner’s home. Sex noises coming through walls is also something that many people with neighbors are familiar with. However, in communes, the roommates are much closer, and you have to see them face to face after any intimate moments, knowing that the sounds have carried through walls.”
But what happens if two people living in a commune fall for each other and get into a relationship?
“The respondents were cautious about relationships between roommates. The dynamics of a group of people living together are often based on everyone being equal and having an equal relationship with each other. A couple may get in the way of this idea of equality because they may stand out from the rest of the group by spending time together or through different shows of affection.”
Heinonen points out that in more traditional social arrangements, people have clearer expectations about each other’s roles. In communes, people talk about and agree on things on a case-by-case basis.
“There is no one-size-fits-all model, but rather it depends a lot on the kind of people who live in the commune, how they get along, and how they are able to agree on things.”
Shared everyday and non-sexual closeness
One perspective of Heinonen’s research is sexuality as self-understanding or identity. The interviews highlighted a group of people whose idea of their sexuality had expanded since they had been living in a commune.
“They have been bolder in trying different things or feeling new kinds of emotions.”
On the other hand, communal living has made shared everyday life and nonsexual closeness normal parts of life. People living in communes feel like they have found a kind of family and that they have been freed from the need to find a relationship.
Communal living helps illustrate gender roles
In the next steps of her research, Heinonen will also focus on gender. For example, she is interested in seeing whether chores are divided in communes according to traditional gender roles. There is little existing research on this topic, but a sociological study conducted in the 1980s found that traditional gender roles also persist in communes.
“This means that the reason behind traditional roles is not the nuclear family, but deeper gendered structures. We can shed light on these questions by studying life in communes. On the other hand, communes have many practices that create equality, such as cleaning shifts.”
Typical person in a commune is in their 20s or 30s
In her research, Heinonen has observed that communes bring together different people who have chosen this form of living consciously.
“Ninety percent of the respondents said that communal housing was a conscious choice for them and not due to financial issues, for example. Those who responded to the study felt strong motivation to live in a commune, even when at the same time they may gain some kind of financial benefit from it, for example by having lower rental costs.”
The most typical people living in communes are young adults between the ages of 18 and 35, but it seems that the popularity of communal housing is also increasing among older demographics. However, many of the respondents who were older than 30 were starting to think about how there are not many other people in their age group still living in communes.
“My research data shows 35 years to be a sort of social divide: This is when youth ends at the latest, and the pressure to be in the same place in life socially as your peers increases. This is partly related to the economic virtues of a middle-class life.”
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University of Eastern Finland
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