The One Question I Wish I Could Ask My Mom


October 25, 1942 my mother and father were married. I never questioned them about their wedding. And sadly, today, I have no one left to ask. I wonder if they had a big party. Was it in Brooklyn where my mom grew up, or was it on the Lower East Side of Manhattan where my dad was raised?

Photo taken in 1942

From this picture I know that mom wore a beautiful wedding dress and held a lovely bouquet of flowers. Neither one of their families had much money so their celebration could not have been fancy or extravagant.

Realizing this, I just phoned my brother to see if he remembers anything. He did not answer his cell phone so, in a panic, I sent him a text and asked him to call me ASAP. I didn’t want him to worry, so I mentioned that everything was okay. I just needed to ask him something. My brother just returned my call. He also knew nothing about mom and dad’s wedding day.

My reaction surprises me, since all of a sudden the facts and details about their wedding day is so important to me. Is it because all the history of my parent’s lives will shortly be gone — or due to mom’s disease, it has already disappeared?

I was married two times and for neither one did I walk “down the aisle.” I never remember Mom giving her opinion or saying very much about her own wedding. Could I have been so caught up in my decision that I never bothered to listen?

Today, I yearn to hear my parents tell me all about their lives. I could sit intently with a quest and hunger to listen to every word they had to say. Without realizing it, I took for granted that my parents would always be around to tell me about their dreams, their desires and their lives.

Mom can no longer tell me much about anything since she now has Alzheimer’s. If I could ask her one question it would be: Mom, can you tell me about your wedding day?

Unfortunately, I now know there is no answer.

My Mom My Hero book is dedicated to my mother and yours. It’s available on Amazon Kindle Audio.

This post originally appeared on MommyHero.