According to a dating guru, unjustly divorced spouses shouldn’t feel bad if they damage their partner’s car or rip up their clothes.
Along with burning an ex-partner’s passport and publicly humiliating them, these are typical strategies for controlling rage and restoring authority.
And according to Louise Robertson, a four-time divorced expert who has done it herself, ladies who steal a key from the shiny paint of their soon-to-be ex-husband’s automobile should never be characterized as “crazy.”
At the Postcards from Midlife Live event in London over the past weekend, Miss Robertson was one of the famous people and health professionals who offered advise to women.
The co-partner of Rendezvous, a business that arranges social gatherings for singles, spoke to freshly divorced older ladies and said, “I’m divorced, my marriage has been annulled, I’ve been abandoned. I’ve been divorced and abandoned again.
Women who take a key from the sparkling paint of their soon-to-be ex-husband’s car should never be described as ‘crazy,’ says Louise Robertson – a four-time divorced expert who did it herself
Unjust wives getting divorced shouldn’t feel guilty if they scratch their partner’s car or cut up their clothes, says dating expert
“And you go through a process, kind of like grieving.
“I was really angry – I did things to my ex-husband, like scratched something gross on the side of his BMW X5, I put shrimp in his pants.”
She gave advice to others, saying, “If your husband cheated on you, get bloody angry – get the anger out.”
“If you want to do something about his Aston Martin, do it – it’s half yours anyway.”
Miss Robertson, who has been organizing singles events in London for seven years, says tinkering with a car or smashing the windscreen is a ‘classic’ act of revenge for people going through a divorce.
People often burn their partner’s passport to avoid going abroad with a new partner, or throw their belongings out the window and cut up their clothes.
Sometimes they undo the seams and unbutton the buttons so that a man’s favorite suit begins to fall apart as soon as he puts it on.
Miss Robertson said: ‘People especially like to describe women who do this sort of thing as crazy, crazy or crazy.
“But divorce is a tumultuous time, in which one often walks away, but the other stays behind to clean up, pay the bills, take care of the kids and pets, and keep his job.”
The 59-year-old dating expert, who is now in a five-year relationship but married her previous husbands at ages 23, 25, 30 and 40, added: “I wouldn’t advise people to scratch a car or retaliate, but I wouldn’t tell them not to, or feel guilty about it if their partner misbehaved or lied to them.
“I felt childishly extremely proud of myself after scratching a rude word in my ex’s car and putting shrimp in his ski pants to get them smelled.
‘I had a very strong feeling of ‘don’t get angry, take revenge’. And it’s not just me – lots of women do this.”
Miss Robertson, who lives in Farnham, Surrey, added: ‘I don’t regret it at all as I was heartbroken when my marriage ended.
Miss Robertson said people should stop retaliating in a way that harms a person rather than their property
‘I’m not a crazy, mean cow. I did it because he seemed to care more about the car than his family.”
Rendezvous invites a divorce counselor to all singles events to help divorced people who are still struggling with feelings of anger while trying to meet someone new.
Miss Robertson, who also works in marketing, as the host of singles nights for professionals, has heard many stories and also witnessed the emotional fallout of friends’ breakups.
She said: “A man came home to find that all furniture and belongings had been removed from his house except for a bed, a single bowl, spoon and fork.
“One woman said her husband took the scissors to her entire wardrobe, while another woman cut off an arm from each of her husband’s shirts.
“A woman let her ex drive her car away, and we know someone who ordered a Chinese takeout for 16 people at her husband’s new house, so he should pay for it.”
Miss Robertson said people should stop retaliating in a way that harms a person rather than their property.
But she added: “Burning passports is a popular practice we’ve heard about, as is trying to put an ad in the local newspaper to say someone has cheated, or going to their place of work and shouting the details in front of them.” from all their colleagues. .’
On what to do after a painful divorce, Ms Robertson, a mother of five, said: ‘Don’t start meeting anyone else until the divorce is out of your system.
“Get angry, but then try to move on from those feelings and move on.”
Why you SHOULDN’T feel guilty for scratching your partner’s car when you split up