I Used To Think Sober People Were Aliens

Coming in contact with sober aliens perplexed me. I felt icky, disturbed, and shocked. It’s because I didn’t understand them and I didn’t want to. Understanding them scared the shit out of me. I didn’t want them looking at me and my drinking habits. I didn’t want to hear about their amazing sober lives because chances are I would be jealous. I would make snide comments about them under my breath, criticizing their lifestyle, or choice of the moment, whichever it was. In college I would even obnoxiously ask why someone wasn’t drinking. Shouting over the music in a dark musty basement I would scream, “Oh come on, just one shot! That test you’re taking tomorrow isn’t that important.” I couldn’t deal with sober people because they were a threat. Their soberness made my drunkenness seem worse. But in reality, I was only putting my deepest insecurities and hang-ups on them.