New mother opens up about struggle of ‘high needs’ baby

While many new mothers will be familiar with a feeling that they are occasionally drowning, not every mum will have had as difficult a first year of motherhood as Leah Williams.

The 31-year-old, from Sydney, recently opened up about the first year of her daughter, Eva’s, life – and her struggle to ‘work out’ why Eva was behaving as she was.

‘We had a textbook “high needs/difficult baby”,’ Ms Williams wrote on her blog – after she admitted she was confused why the ‘vision of sipping coffee whilst she [Eva] slept in the pram never, ever happened’.

‘Into week 12 of the endless crying, the fussing and the sleep fighting it all got too much and I hit a wall,’ Ms Williams said of the moment she approached rock bottom.

Leah Williams, 31, from Sydney recently opened up about the first year of her daughter, Eva’s, life – and her struggle to ‘work out’ why Eva was behaving as she was (pictured with Eva)

‘We had a textbook “high needs/difficult baby”,’ Ms Williams wrote – she admitted she was confused why the ‘vision of sipping coffee whilst she slept in the pram never, ever happened’

• Would YOU go to your own funeral? Meet the celebrant…
  

  Choose your hero, opt for three tiles at most and if you can…
  

  ‘She has an amazing sense of style’: Australian designers of…
  

  ‘It felt like I was pregnant for six years’: Mother, 47,…
  

‘Into week 12 of the endless crying, the fussing and the sleep fighting it all got too much and I hit a wall,’ Ms Williams said of the moment she approached rock bottom (pictured with Eva)

Of course, things hadn’t always been this way.

Ms Williams wrote that before her baby girl was born, she was ‘totally prepared’:

‘I am an organiser, planner, researcher and maybe if we’re being honest, a little bit of a control freak,’ she wrote. 

‘I had my birth plan, the car seat was in, baby books had all been read. I was ready to go.’

While she knew that there would be difficult days once the baby was born, the 31-year-old hadn’t realised that she would need to ‘spend from 6pm to 12am every single night trying to get our newborn baby to sleep’:

‘Some days I’d be up for 23 hours straight, and it was four days in a row of this that I knew I couldn’t do it anymore, and we enlisted the help of a sleep consultant,’ Ms Williams said.

Before she had little Eva, Ms Williams said she had been ‘totally prepared’ – however, after she arrived, things soon changed (both pictured)

‘Some days I’d be up for 23 hours straight, and it was four days in a row of this that I knew I couldn’t do it anymore, and we enlisted the help of a sleep consultant,’ Ms Williams said

A high needs baby is generally characterised as one that will not sleep through the night and who doesn’t like to be held – ‘Basically, I sum it up as always needing MORE,’ Ms Williams said

A high needs baby is generally characterised as one that will not sleep through the night and who doesn’t like to be held.

‘Basically, I sum it up as always needing MORE. More attention, more time, more entertainment and so it goes on,’ Ms Williams said. 

‘They’re intense, unsatisfied, hyperactive, draining, demanding, they wake frequently and are totally and utterly unpredictable,’ she continued.

Ms Williams said around the five month mark: ‘I basically fell apart’. 

‘I felt completely and totally alone. Like no one else really understood. Everyone else’s babies were happy, laughing and smiling. Mine wasn’t. Mine whinged and cried 70 per cent of the day.’

At the five month mark, Ms Williams said she ‘basically fell apart’ – however, with the help of a doctor and a few simple ‘strategies’, things have got better

Speaking to Daily Mail Australia, Ms Williams said she has noticed a ‘massive change in Eva’s general behaviour and mood’ (both pictured)

At this point, the 31-year-old mother remembers doing as many would do – and heading off to see their family GP to find out if anything was wrong.

After speaking with a doctor, the Williams family put some ‘strategies’ into place to help them get by.

They started ordering their groceries online, they got a fortnightly cleaner and Ms Williams said she ‘survived’ that tricky first year. 

Speaking to Daily Mail Australia, Ms Williams said she has noticed a ‘massive change in Eva’s general behaviour and mood’ since – at around the 13-month marker.

‘It was like a switch had been flicked. All of a sudden she was just less cranky and a generally happier baby. I think it had a little bit to do with her being able to communicate with us.

‘We still have really hard days, and my attention is always 100 per cent on her, but I just try to accept that and go with the flow a little bit more,’ she told FEMAIL.

Ms Williams also offered a message of support to other parents of high needs children – urging them to ‘hang in there’.

‘Find a way to cope, to get through it. For me, this was getting out of the house twice a day. That was how I got through it.’

To read more from Ms Williams’s blog, The Dearest Days, click here. You can also follow her on Instagram here.