Sometimes I Hate My Mother — But I Care for Her Anyway

Your Loved One’s Ingratitude Is Their Failing, Not Yours
The secret to dealing with lack of appreciation and avoiding resentment, caregivers say, is to understand that your loved one’s ingratitude is their failing, not yours. “I came to realize that while I was devoting my life to her, she wasn’t going to like, love, or approve of me any more than she ever had,” says one Caring.com community member. “She didn’t see my taking care of her as a big deal, and I started to see how little she valued what I was giving her.” It took time, she says, but in the end she learned a valuable life lesson. “What Mom gave me was the perspective that her inability to love and approve of me was about her, not about me.”