To Push or Not to Push: How to Help Your Child Deal with the Inevitable Stresses of Life

When your child is crying hysterically and shaking, it’s easy to get anxious, frustrated, angry, discouraged, embarrassed or all of the above. It’s even easier to lose it when you share some of your child’s anxieties (read: “maybe something bad will happen to him if I leave him there”). But in the face of uncertainty, kids look to their parents as guides, and they can be perceptive little buggers. Try to model calm and confidence through the tone and volume of your voice, your body language, and your facial expressions, even when you want to pull your own hair out. Think of a few things that are relaxing to you (breathing, counting, using self-validating thoughts like, “this is just my anxiety, my child is ok,” and imagining vacation scenes far, far away) and try them–repeatedly–until you find one that takes the edge off. When all else fails, faking it works too.