10 Women Share the Moment They Knew He Wasn’t the One

RELATED: 5 Crucial Tips for Couples That Can’t Stop Breaking Up and Getting Back Together

1. “My father was an alcoholic. When I moved out, I promised myself I would never have ‘that smell’ in my home. One night, my boyfriend got very drunk at my office Christmas party, and he ended up passed out in my bathroom in my apartment. He was convulsing, and I called 911. They managed to force the door open and he spent the night in the ER. I found out that night that he had a drinking problem he’d hidden from me. When I went back to my apartment, ‘that smell’ was present. I broke up with him that day.”—Lisa, 53

2. “We were supposed to spend a long weekend together in my home state for a friend’s get-together—the first time he would meet some of my best friends. Not only did he cancel last minute, but he also refused to feed my cat while I was gone.”—Jill, 33

“I found out that night he had a drinking problem he’d hidden from me.”

3. “I knew he wasn’t the one when he wanted to control me once we got engaged. It was like he expected me to be a different person [after] I agreed to marry him. Needless to say, that engagement did not result in a wedding.”—Adriana, 29

4. “He threw a legit, red-in-the-face, foot-stomping fit when I didn’t feel like having sex one night.”—Diana, 29

RELATED: This 79-Year-Old Celibate Man Just Dropped Some Pretty Solid Relationship Advice

5. “We went on a ‘save the relationship’ trip to Mexico and ended up one night in a tiny, romantic restaurant with no other customers. A great song came on and he wouldn’t dance with me. Because ‘I don’t dance. Period.’ The cute, young waiter came over at that moment, took one look at my face, and asked me to dance immediately. So I danced with him, and my boyfriend didn’t speak to me for the rest of the evening. (Note to past self: Shoulda dumped him right then and gone home with cute young waiter.)”—Laurie, 46

“It was like he expected me to be a different person since I agreed to marry him.”

6. “We were sitting at dinner at a restaurant and I tried to tell him about an email I’d just gotten from my mother. I cut my mother out of my life five years ago for being an abusive alcoholic. Every time I tried to say something about my mother, he looked away and made a joke about what was on the TV, or would start dancing. In that moment, I realized how many times he had deflected or changed the subject when I brought up anything deeper than surface-level conversation. As much as I love him, I can’t spend the rest of my life with someone who’s so visibly uncomfortable talking about the hard stuff.” —Kate, 33

RELATED: 5 Makeup Sex Habits That Are Seriously Screwing You Over

7. “I’d been thinking this college boyfriend wasn’t for me for a while, as we hadn’t been exactly getting along. But it all came into crystal clear focus when, at my father’s wake, he [only] showed up for an uncomfortable 10 minutes. He sat quietly beside me, until his fidgeting started. With a sheepish grin on his face, he turned to me and said, ‘Do you mind if I leave now? Steve and the guys are waiting for me outside.’ Um, ok… ‘Where are you going?’ I asked. Because it must be important, since my dad just died (I was 21 years old). ‘Well…’ he said, looking away, “We’re going dancing.” Yeah, go. And don’t come back. —Mary Luz, 46

“I realized how many times he had deflected or changed the subject when I brought up anything deeper than surface-level conversation.”

8. “I’d been hooking up with this guy on and off for months, and we’d finally come to a somewhat ‘exclusive’ agreement. Then, I left for a three-week-long trip to South America. He didn’t really respond to any of my emails when I was there, but I thought he was just busy. When I got back, our mutual friend told me he was now exclusively dating a girl who lived over 200 miles away. What? I was confused and blindsided, but even through my sadness, I knew he wasn’t worth my time or energy.” —Caitlin, 27

RELATED: Is It Ever OK to Date a Friend’s Ex?

9. “We went for our first mountain bike ride together. He said he loved to ride. I passed him on a big hill (I was a strong hill climber), and 30 seconds later, he was standing behind me in the trail, swearing about his ‘piece of crap’ bike. He picked it up and chucked it into the bushes. I knew then it was not a good match. No man of mine should be pissed about a strong, fast girl—nor should he ever mistreat a bike.”—Jennifer, 39

10. “I took him to a friend’s birthday party. I ran into an acquaintance there—a man I barely knew—who gave me a big hug hello, nothing more. After we returned home, my ex got angry and asked why I’d never mentioned this acquaintance before, and [wanted to know] why he had given me a hug. That’s when I knew it wasn’t going to work.”—Lily, 43