11 Problems All Women Who Own a Vibrator Understand
1. Buying your first vibrator is scary AF.
Whether you went to Spencer’s with your friends when you were 17 or threw down major cash on a fancy vibe online, buying a sex toy is a major rush—and terrifying. Will the cashier judge me? Is a hot pink sex toy worth $150? Obviously, both of these are risks worth taking.
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2. Praying that your model really is waterproof.
Rub a dub-dubbing in the tub is all fun and games until your “water-resistant” device drowns down below.
3. When your friend comes over, and your vibrator is not in its hiding place.
Who doesn’t love getting off in their living room? But when you realize the evidence of your last trip to O-town is sitting on your bookshelf, things can get awkward. Should you make a joke? Did she notice it? Maybe you should just play it cool and hopefully she won’t pay attention to the giant penis-shaped gadget in plain sight.
4. Your vibrator dies mid-self love sesh.
You’re so close to hitting the big O, and then your battery dies. What are you supposed to do now? Use your actual hands? Game over.
5. Your gadget is way more fun to sleep with than that guy you’re hooking up with.
He just doesn’t get you like your buzz buddy does. Though you might wonder whether your vibrator made you less sensitive down there, we’re going to bet that he’s just bad in bed.
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6. When you can’t pick a freaking setting.
Buzz, buzz, buzz, or buzzzzzz, or BUZZZZZZZ? Who can blame you for wanting to try every single setting in a single sesh? If only your orgasm could hold out that long…
7. Trying to find a sub when your toy dies.
Admit it, you’ve given your electric toothbrush the eye after your handy dandy vibe calls it quits. That vibrating face brush starts looking pretty sexy, too. Must. Resist. The. Vibrations.
8. Just holding it turns you on.
You know you’re in love with your vibe when just turning it on and holding it in your hand makes you want to jump yourself. This is some serious Pavlov shit.
9. Your S.O. freaks out when you insist on using it during sex.
Just let him know that there’s enough room for both of them in the sack. He might even like to test it out on package. Sharing is caring.
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10. You stress out about how loud it is.
Whether you want a little me time in the shower while bae is sitting right outside the bathroom or you brought that little bugger with you to visit your parents (no judgment), you can’t help but wonder, “Is this as loud as I think this is?” We’re going to go with no. You do you.
11. When you need to buy a new one.
After the nights in and wild rides, there comes that heartbreaking moment when your vibrator cannot withstand your orgasm. Batteries die down, silicone wears and tears, and there comes a time to part ways with your vibrator. But you’ll never forget the fun memories you shared together. #RIP.