5 Habits of Women Who Orgasm Every Single Time

While it may seem the stuff of mythical legends and daytime TV, there are women who do, indeed, reach that magical climax every time they have sex. And no, they’re not faking it. We turned to two top experts to find out just what everyone else can learn from the women who never have trouble crossing the finish line.
 

“Women who masturbate on a regular basis have become experts on their own bodies and know where the best ‘feel-good’ spots are,” says Fran Walfish, Psy.D., an expert panelist on the upcoming WE tv series, Sex Box. “They know how much pressure, tempo, speed, lightness, and every single nuance of touch, direct or indirect, on their clitorises they need in order to orgasm.” And getting off solo makes it that much more likely that you’ll get off when your partner comes into play. “When you know what is exciting and arousing, your partner can enhance it,” says Jane Greer, Ph.D., New York-based marriage and sex therapist and author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship.

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Most women require stimulation of the clitoris in order to reach orgasm, says Walfish. “A much smaller percentage of women reach orgasm solely through G-spot stimulation, via penetration,” she says, but for the vast majority, the clitoris is where it’s at. Whether your partner gives it some lovin’ with his hand, his body, or a vibrator, focusing on this hotspot will result in a big pleasure payoff.

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“Foreplay is very important,” says Greer. “It’s what helps you build up excitement and momentum during the sexual experience, allowing you to get turned on enough so you can orgasm.” While there’s no hard-and-fast rule, it’s a good idea to aim for at least five to 20 minutes of pre-play before you jump into the main event, says Greer. “Slow and steady buildup is the most important thing—soft kissing, kissing the nipples, stroking the breasts, moving your hands toward the vagina but not yet touching…anything that builds excitement and awakens your senses to sexual stimulation.”

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What feels good? What do you need more of? Make sure your partner knows the answers to these questions, says Walfish. If you feel shy about this, just remember, it helps him, too: “Communicating what turns you on and what excites you relaxes your partners and enables them to be more tuned in and focused on getting you aroused,” says Greer. “To avoid feeling awkward while communicating this, simply say, ‘I love it when you do that,’ or, ‘That really turns me on and excites me.’” For more inspiration, check out these tips for talking dirty without feeling ridiculous.
 

Counterintuitive as it might sound, it works. “If you want to orgasm every time, stop looking for it or expecting it to happen every time,” says Greer, who notes that anxiety disconnects you from the pleasure you could otherwise be experiencing. “The more relaxed you are, the quicker you’ll orgasm,” says Greer.

Walfish concurs, saying, “Relaxation techniques and regular exercise are great strategies for managing and reducing stress, which can interfere with a woman’s ability to let go and enjoy orgasms during sex.”

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