6 Resolutions Sex Therapists Want You to Make This Year

Many of us make the same New Year’s resolutions year after year: eat less junk food, exercise more, stick to a budget, and drink less wine (okay, maybe not that last one). The point is, we are seriously slacking on making resolutions that are actually fun—like having way more sex.

Vowing to make the New Year a friskier one can do wonders for your love life whether or not you’re in a relationship. Plus, all the cool kids are doing it (pun intended). That includes sex therapists. “At the beginning of last year, I resolved to initiate sex more often because I usually leave it to my partner,” says Jess O’Reilly, Ph.D., resident sexologist and relationship expert for Astroglide. “He doesn’t complain, but I see the toll it takes on relationships at work, so I wanted to be proactive.”

In doing so, she discovered a lot about herself (and her libido), including why initiating sex has never been her thing. “I’m confident in my skills, but not with initiating,” she says. “My erotic script is firmly rooted in the feeling of being desired. I’m turned on when I feel wanted.” So, O’Reilly enlisted the help of her partner to help her feel desired all day long, not just before sex. Ta-da!

Because resolutions usually center around change, they can promote sexual growth—and that can boost your relationship with your partner, your lady parts, and your libido, says O’Reilly.

Ready to get started? Here, six expert-approved resolutions you should make for a steamier 2017.