6 Things Divorced People Want You To Know…But Will Never Tell You

When Catherine, a 48-year-old Boston public relations executive, filed for divorce from her cheating cad of a husband, she assumed the circumstances meant she’d get everything, including sole custody of the children and most of the family assets. But the reality couldn’t have been more different. “My divorce attorney sat me down and explained that no matter how awful my husband had been, our state was a no-fault state, which meant that the judge wouldn’t look at past conduct when it came to awarding custody and assets,” she remembers. She ended up with 50/50 custody, and, since her ex made less than her, she had to pay him child support. 

Seventeen states—including Wisconsin, Washington, Oregon, Michigan, Kentucky, California, and the District of Columbia—are no-fault zones, which means you can’t file for divorce on traditional grounds such as adultery, abandonment, or cruelty. And even if you don’t live in a no-fault state, judges nowadays are still much less likely to take factors such as cheating into account, says Sodoma. 

Watch men and women spill the honest truth about exactly what they think about cheating: