7 Thoughts You Have During Sex That Totally Screw with Your Orgasm

Because life isn’t fair, your guy can probably orgasm in a matter of minutes. So he (or you) might expect a similar response. “There are some very basic physiological differences in male orgasms versus the female orgasm,” says Emily deAyala, a certified sex therapist and president of REVIVE Therapy Healing in Houston.

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Not only will it take you longer—roughly 15 to 30 minutes as opposed to two to 10 for him—you’ll likely need clitoral stimulation to get you there. “Women can feel pressure to have an orgasm the way guys do, but it just doesn’t work that way for a lot of women,” says deAyala. She encourages women who are distracted by the pressure to finish faster to focus on their senses. You can try breathing deeply and taking in how he smells, looks, feels, etc. “That makes it more of a sensual experience, which can make a big difference,” she says. (Get closer to that O in record time with these sex toys from the Women’s Health Boutique.)