7 Women Recall the Shocking Times They Were Mommy-Shamed

Here, seven women share some truly offensive stories of times they were “mommy-shamed.”

1. “There was a mom at the library’s storytime I attended with my kids who frequently commented on how I was spoiling my twins because I wore them in baby carriers a lot when they were around 3-6 months. I told her they cried otherwise, and wearing them helped them calm down and sleep, which was a lifesaver with two young babies and a 3-year-old. Wearing them was the only way I could leave the house for awhile. She would keep on about it, how I should lay them down and teach them not to bother me, that I was rewarding bad behavior by giving in and was going to be stuck with clingy babies. I was tempted to tell her I would take suggestions when she’s raised twins, but I’m not that confrontational.” —Maria

“She said I was rewarding bad behavior by giving in and was going to be stuck with clingy babies.” 

2. “I was riding my bike down the dedicated bike lane on a residential street with my kids in a trailer, helmets on everyone (I diligently researched and purchased the one with the highest safety rating) and some asshat ran out of his house to berate me for endangering my childrens’ lives because people might be driving while talking on their cell phones. I thought for a moment about reciting actual cycling accident statistics compared to driving but decided to just tell him to mind his own business.” —Teresa

3. “When my five-year-old needed to poop and wanted privacy in the (multi-stall) public restroom, I stood outside the door instead of going in with her. I peeked in about once a minute to make sure she didn’t need anything, and a perfect stranger walked up to me and said, “I don’t care how old that child is, NEVER let her go into a public restroom alone again!” “—Sarah

“Some asshat ran out of his house to berate me for endangering my childrens’ lives because people might be driving while talking on their cell phones.”

4. “A woman came up to me in a restaurant and told me how big my exclusively breastfed baby was. She said it like four times, how he was too big and she couldn’t believe it. I was so proud of him, though, because after he was born he lost a lot of weight and didn’t gain any back for a month or so, so I worked hard to get him to a healthy weight by exclusively breastfeeding.” —Liat

5. “Once, when I was pregnant, I said I hadn’t slept well because I drank coffee too late the night before. My father-in-law literally wagged his finger at me and said, ‘Should you be doing that to my granddaughter?’” —Serena

6. “As a single parent, I often need to take my kids with me to spaces that are not “kid friendly.” One time, when my son was a baby and I had to do a poetry reading in NYC, I heard someone say, “What is a baby doing here?” so loudly that I could hear it…which I think was the point.” —Sandra

“My father-in-law literally wagged his finger at me and said, ‘should you be doing that to my granddaughter?’”

7. “Once, another mother told me I ‘couldn’t really appreciate’ what motherhood was like until I had more than one kid because ‘one kid is easy.’ ‘You can still be selfish. You have no idea what motherhood really is,’ she said. I was stunned. Speechless. I had nothing to say at the time. It’s been five years and I think about that a lot. I’ve helped nurture and raise a baby into a person. We both have our moments where we stumble and fall, but we keep going along, and she keeps becoming more amazing. Maybe I’m more rested than a mother of two or more kids, but I still understand all the joys and heartaches, the proud moments, the sleepless nights, the frantic days all parents experience, regardless of how many kids I have.”—Jessica

The lesson here? MYOMB—yeah, that’s mind your own mom business. One crucial way we can all help to end those pointless, damaging “mommy wars” is to respect other women’s decisions about childrearing. Not your kid, not your place to comment!