9 Things All Sex Shop Employees Want You To Know

The key is finding a store you feel comfortable shopping in and clerks you feel safe talking to. Well-trained, thoughtful staff will ask you basic questions about your experiences, preferences, and intentions before they begin suggesting products, and there are usually items on display to touch and feel so you can make an informed decision. “You may pay a little more than you would online, but you’ll gain knowledge, confidence, and likely end up with a better product,” says Kazoleas. 

One way to tell if you’re in a reputable, sex-positive establishment is if the shop is organized using gender-neutral categories, says Kazoleas. If a sex shop describes their vibrators as being “for women,” they’re not well educated in gender identity or anal stimulation. “Any vibrator with a flared based can be enjoyed anally by anyone, and even vibrators intended to stimulate the clitoris can be used to stimulate other erogenous zones (think: nipples, perineum),” she says.