A Man’s Take On Mike Pence’s Stance On Dining With Other Women

Despite that time apart, I trust her more than any other human. Hell, she looks after all of our money and could be diverting our retirement funds to a runaway scrapbooking addiction for all I know.

But we’re not so ensconced with one another that we’d willingly ignore every other member of the opposite sex on the planet. That’s just stupid and totally impractical.

I am referring, of course, to Vice President Mike Pence’s statement that he won’t eat dinner alone with a woman other than his wife Karen or attend an event serving alcohol without her by his side, according to a recent article by The Washington Post.

A personal policy like this makes me believe that he and Karen assume that men are 90 percent penis without the ability to control themselves. It also assumes that women are temptresses who cannot help but entice a married guy onto their sinful mattresses. Just in case you were wondering, yes, this is 2017. 

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It’s certainly problematic that this type of sexist behavior prevents women from attaining power in Washington, as The Atlantic points out. But I think it’s also worth noting that this no-girls-allowed policy makes guys seem like they’re incapable of having relationships with women that don’t end in sex.

Beyond the impracticalities of avoiding dining alone with women from a business perspective, this rule reinforces negative gender stereotypes that married men are looking to cheat and women are looking to cheat with married men. Despite the Pence’s personal policy, humans are able to keep it in their pants. My wife and I are a couple of people with the ability to do so. There are many more like us. 

This idea also assumes that going to a public place where food is brought to your table cannot be anything but romantic in nature. If you’ve never been to a Chipotle on a Tuesday night, rest assured that it is not the least bit of a turn on.

Seriously, according to Karen’s and Mike’s rules, eating a burrito with a woman other than your wife isn’t just friends enjoying a meal together or a business meeting—it’s sexual tension just waiting to explode.

I’m also wondering where they draw the line. If a married man cannot dine with a woman without his wife present, does that policy extend to lunch or eating chips in front of a vending machine? And what if food isn’t involved—because, you know, Starbucks exists—but you’re still alone together sipping your café Americano. Is that cool?

Despite this When Harry Met Sally-esque philosophy (guys, that was 1989, and it was outdated then), I actually have a female friend as my running partner. She is also married and we often take off into remote areas where it’s just her, I, and her black lab. We could be doing things—things other than running! (And I’m pretty sure the dog wouldn’t tell if we did.)

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Here’s what men and women have to say about farting in a relationship.

But what do we actually do? We run, we spit, blow snot rockets, and talk about running. Sexy, right? And since she’s a chef, on our last run together we discussed the deeply pornographic nature of how to prepare a good lamb stew. Woah, baby.

Yet somehow we manage to keep our hands off each other. I mean, except for our traditional fist-bump at the end of each run.

And, actually, it gets worse. One time, another friend of mine—one of those friends with no Y chromosome—came over to my house when no one else was there, and we lifted weights in my basement. What a scandal. Fun fact: She was single at the time. Though it’s not clear how she could have possibly resisted me as I lifted heavy things, somehow we remained friends, and my wife could care less.

I’m married and have no sexual interest in anyone other than my wife, and my friend who lifted with me likes me only as a friend. That’s because we’re mature people capable of that. It can be done.

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Although we don’t know Karen’s policy about dining or drinking with men other than her husband, I’m sure my wife has been alone with male friends or business partners. Somehow, it doesn’t bother me.

Though I can’t say I know that much about Mike and Karen’s relationship, it appears they don’t trust that men and women can behave professionally when left alone with the opposite sex. At the very least, the fact that he’s unwilling to have dinner alone with a woman makes it appear he doesn’t trust himself. Just sayin’

James Fell is an internationally-syndicated fitness columnist. Follow him on Facebook and Twitter.