How to Help a Friend Who’s Been Raped

Thank her for telling you. It takes a lot of bravery to reveal an experience that’s cloaked in shame.

Respect her confidentiality. Unless she’s planning to harm herself, keep her story to yourself.

Give her control over what comes next. E.g., rather than saying, “We need to press charges,” ask her whether she’d like to report this to the police.

RELATED: Life After Rape: The Sexual Assault Issue No One’s Talking About 

Don’t. . .

Play detective. Asking if she’d been drinking or what she was wearing implies that she’s at least partially at fault for what happened.

Ask what took her so long to speak out. Each person comes forward at her own pace.

Assume what she wants or needs. Instead, ask what you can do and what would be helpful for her. She may want you to go with her to the police, or she may just need you to listen.

To find out which organizations support sexual assault survivors and how you can help, pick up the October issue of Women’s Health, on newsstands now.