If You Question Whether He’s ‘The One,’ Does That Simply Mean He’s Not?

Ask people how they knew their partner was “The One,” and many of them will say, “I just knew.” But what if you don’t? If you’re in a relationship and don’t feel 100 percent certain, does that mean you simply haven’t met the right person yet?

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“Not knowing, otherwise known as being ambivalent, is a natural part of every relationship,” says Jane Greer, Ph.D. and author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship. What’s most important, she says, are the kinds of doubt you’re having. “For example, if you’re not looking forward to spending time with your partner, or are looking to do things with them out of obligation rather than desire, then they may not be the one,” she says.