Just 1 in 5 of adults really mean it when they tell other people that they are ‘fine’
- The average adult will say the phrase ‘I’m fine’ around 14 times each week
- However a third of 2,000 adults said they often lie about how they feel
- While 1 in 10 said they always fib when talking about their emotions
- But 59% of adults expect someone to lie to them about how they’re feeling
Stephen Matthews For Mailonline
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When you say that you feel ‘fine’ do you really mean it? Apparently not, according to new research.
The average adult will say the phrase 14 times a week – but just one in five mean it, a survey revealed.
It was found 34 per cent use the response because it is more convenient than explaining how they really feel.
And 23 per cent say it because they think the person asking isn’t really that interested.
Almost a third of 2,000 Britons polled said they often lie about how they are feeling to other people.
While one in ten said they always lie about how they are feeling emotionally, research from the Mental Health Foundation (MHF) found.
But the dishonesty goes both ways as 59 per cent of adults expect someone to lie to them about how they are feeling.
The average adult will tell other people that they are ‘fine’ 14 times a week – but just one in five mean it, a survey revealed
Jenny Edwards, chief executive of the MHF said: ‘While it may appear that most of us are happy openly discussing feelings, these survey results reveal that many of us are really just sticking to a script.
‘This creates an illusion of support. On the surface, we’re routinely checking in with each other but beneath that, many of us feel unable to say how we’re really feeling.’
The research found men are more than twice as likely to be dishonest to others when it comes to their emotion.
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Some 22 per cent admitted they always lie about how they feel, compared to 10 per cent of women.
Women however are more likely to be hurt emotionally, experts say.
Just over forty per cent said they regretted opening up to someone in the past, compared to 29 per cent of men.
While a staggering 44 per cent said they have regretted asking someone who they were after receiving an answer they weren’t prepared for.
Adults were more likely to reveal their true feelings to a stranger than their work colleagues, the survey found.
However, less than one per cent of adults were willing to lie to their grandparents.
People are also three times more likely to disguise our feelings from their mother than from their father.
And adults feel more comfortable discussing our emotions on social media and online forums than with our friends directly.
When quizzed on the people in their lives they receive emotional support from, a fifth said they could use a lot more guidance and support.
While 28 per cent think they would benefit from more supportive people in their lives.
Just one in ten people were found to enjoy opening up about their emotions but more than half actively disliked discussing their well-being.
The study also explored the emotional profile of the participants. When asked which emotions they expressed most commonly, a third of respondents chose anxiety.
Some 18 per cent chose depression, 15 per cent chose boredom and 11 per cent chose loneliness.
More encouragingly, 21 per cent said they felt affection most frequently, and 20 per cent chose love.
Mrs Edwards continued: ‘The people around us in our lives are crucial for our mental health; people with strong connections live happier, healthier and longer lives than those without.
‘That’s why we all need a healthy network of friends and family who we are comfortable to confide in when we need to.
‘Next time someone asks “how are you?”, try going off the standard script and say the truth instead of ‘I’m fine’ and see how a more meaningful conversation unfolds.’
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