Man who met his dying fiancee on Tinder reveals his heartbreak

A man has revealed the heartache of knowing that he will soon be a widower after falling for a woman with a terminal brain tumour. 

When Andy Bell, 26, exchanges vows with his fiancé Anna Swabey at their wedding in September, promising to be with her until death do them part, he knows that day is likely to come within the next two years. 

Andy, an electrical maintenance engineer from Newton Aycliffe, County Durham, proposed in December 2015 knowing that his marriage would be a tragically short one – but was determined to make Anna his wife if only for a few years.

Andy Bell has spoken about his heartache knowing that he will become a widow before he is 30 as his fiancé Anna Swabey has a terminal brain tumour. Pictured: The couple together 

What makes their love story even more touching is that Andy has known, since before their first date, that Anna was terminally ill.

He recalled: ‘We met via the dating app Tinder in February 2015, and after a week of messaging and texting one another, I suggested meeting up for a drink. 

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‘I could see from her profile picture Anna was absolutely beautiful, and her messages had been so witty and funny, I couldn’t wait to meet her in the flesh.

‘It was then she dropped the bombshell that just a month before, she’d suffered a massive seizure and been diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour. 

The pair met using the dating app Tinder, but before their first date Anna asked Andy whether he would still want to meet her knowing she was terminally ill but he said yes

Anna was diagnosed with a brain tumour in January 2015 and was given just three years to live. Pictured: Anna in hospital following treatment 

‘She texted saying: “I’ve only got three years to live. I’ll understand if you don’t want to meet up.”‘

While some may have balked at the thought of dating a girl who was terminally ill, believing it would simply be too painful and difficult to have a relationship, Andy insisted he still wanted to meet Anna.

‘I was so shocked when I read her message. Who expects to get a message like that from a 24-year-old girl? I couldn’t believe such a terrible thing had happened to someone so young. 

‘But I immediately messaged back saying it didn’t change anything for me, I wanted to get to know her,’ he remembers.

‘People have asked me why I went on that first date, knowing Anna was so sick. I know I could have walked away at that point, but I didn’t want to. 

‘It wasn’t to do with feeling sorry for her, and taking her on a ‘pity date’ – something she’s told me she was worried about at first – I felt really drawn to her. I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t meet her.’

Anna had been worried that Andy had chosen to meet her because he felt sorry for her but he insists he genuinely wanted to get to know her 

Within days of their first date, at a local pub, Andy and Anna were a couple.

‘We were quickly inseparable, and I knew I had met someone incredibly special,’ Andy said. ‘We talked about her illness of course, and it was impossible to forget this gorgeous girl was so unwell, but being with her was all I wanted. I didn’t care how long that was for.’

Andy proposed to Anna in December 2015 after the pair fell head over heels for one another 

Meeting Anna’s parents, Linda, 60 and Keith, 52, and her siblings Victoria, 35 and Matthew, 33, was nerve-racking, Andy admitted.

‘You’re always a bit nervous meeting a new girlfriend’s family, but this time was different. 

‘I knew they would be anxious about Anna starting a serious relationship when she had so much going on in her life, not to mention worried that if it didn’t work out between us, could she really cope with heartbreak on top of her illness?

‘She’d already had to give up her job as a retail outlet manager, and stop driving because of the seizure she’d had. I knew they wouldn’t want her life to become any more complicated.

‘I wanted to show them how much I cared for her, and how genuine my feelings were,’ Andy added. 

‘They saw quickly that I was besotted with their daughter, and welcomed me into their family.’

At the same time, Andy had to break the news to his parents, Jill, 56, and Alan, 62, that the new girlfriend he had already introduced them to, was terminally ill.

‘Like I had been at first, they were stunned. Anna looked so well, there was nothing to suggest she was seriously sick, so it was a big shock to them.

‘Mum asked me was I sure this was what I wanted, and had I thought about what lay ahead if I stayed with Anna? When I assured her I had, and it didn’t change my feelings, she said that if I was happy, that was good enough for her and my dad.’

Within a month of meeting, Andy was at Anna’s bedside in a London hospital as she recovered from brain surgery.

For the past year he’s helped her through 12 gruelling rounds of chemotherapy.

Andy says he is inspired Anna’s determination to remain positive and not waste the time she has feeling resentful or angry

Just a few weeks after they met Andy was at Anna’s bedside in hospital after she went through chemotherapy

‘Anna’s condition can’t be cured, but doctors are trying to buy her as much time as possible,’ Andy explained.

‘From the off, our relationship wasn’t a “normal” one, most couples don’t have dates in hospital, but I knew that part of loving Anna was helping her in whatever way I could.’

Anna’s determination to remain positive and not waste the time she has feeling resentful or angry, inspires Andy but he admits they both have moments when they struggle with what lies ahead for them as a couple.

‘Anna is so strong but there are times when she breaks down, because she’s scared of dying, and of losing her personality and control of her body, as her illness gets worse.

Andy says that Anna’s parents Linda, 60 and Keith, 52 (pictured at Anna’s graduation) were worried that their relationship might complicate their daughters life but have welcomed Andy into their family

‘I feel so helpless when that happens, I would do anything to swap places with her and take the pain and fear away for her.

‘When I feel low, or frightened, I try to hide those feelings from Anna. I don’t want to burden her. It usually happens when I’m at home alone with our dog Enid, and Anna’s out.

‘It hits me that this will be my life soon, living without her. It’s crushing but I try to follow her example and just live in the present, rather than dwell on the future.’

In December last year Andy proposed to Anna with a solitaire diamond ring, having asked her father’s permission first. 

They’re planning to marry in the Yorkshire Dales in September, in front of 160 family and friends.

‘I know that by marrying Anna, I’ll be a widower before my 30th birthday. However, all I want is to be able to introduce her as “my wife”. I can’t wait for that moment.

‘And as much as having a wedding will be an amazing way to make memories together, it’s just one day.

‘Getting married is about committing myself to Anna for the rest of our life together, however long that is.’