Researchers warn constantly checking handsets can cause conflicts with kids

October 13, 2016

Parents’ mobile technology use is found to create problems at home
Study finds it causes internal tension, conflicts and negative interactions
Kids crave more attention when parents are heavily involved with devices
Expert says parents should track usage, set boundaries and stay away from web activity that increases stress levels in order to find a balance

Stacy Liberatore For Dailymail.com

Published:
11:14 EST, 12 October 2016

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Updated:
11:36 EST, 12 October 2016

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It’s not just kids who are addicted to technology – parents are just as guilty, researchers have warned.

A new study reveals parents’ use of mobile technology around young children may be causing internal tension, conflicts and negative interactions within relationships.

Researchers suggest parents should track mobile usage, set boundaries and stay away from web activity that increases stress levels.

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It’s not just kids who are addicted to technology – parents are just as guilt of being connected and it’s creating problems at home. A study reveals parents’ use of mobile technology around young children may be causing internal tension, conflicts and negative interactions with kids

HOW TO DISCONNECT

Set boundaries: Create a family plan that includes places and times of day where devices are not to be used.

For example, make a rule that there are to be no devices at dinner time or bedtime.

Track your mobile use: Find out which apps that you spend the most uses, then create a block or filter to help you cut down on usage.

Apps like ‘Moment’ and ‘Quality Time’ may also help you track mobile use and see where you may be spending too much time.

Identify top device stressors: Reserve parts about your mobile device that are most stressful when your kids are occupied, such as checking work emails or reading the news.

This way, you have your own time and space to process the information rather than interrupting time with kids who may react to your negative emotions with their own negativity.

Parents are estimated to use smartphones, tablets and wearables for at least three hours everyday.

And although they often complain their children are glued to devices, previous research has shown that 34 percent of children believe it’s their parents who are more addicted.

A study from the University of Michigan Health System has found that as technology has blurred the lines between work, home and social lives – parents struggle to finding a healthy balance.

‘Parents are constantly feeling like they are in more than one place at once while parenting,’ says lead author Jenny Radesky, M.D., a child behavior expert and pediatrician at University of Michigan C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital who conducted the study with colleagues from Boston Medical Center.

‘They’re still ‘at work’. They’re keeping up socially. All while trying to cook dinner and attend to their kids.’

During the study, Radesky and her colleagues recruited 35 caregivers, which included moms, dads and grandmothers, and asked them about their mobile technology use.

The team found that each participant was consistently expressing an internal battle between multitasking mobile technology use, work and children, information overload and emotional tensions around disrupting family routines, such as meal times.

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One mom in the study described it as, ‘the whole world is in your lap’.

And other parents explained it has a trickle-down effect – whatever they were reading on their device determined how they responded to their children, for example.

Parents also found that their children would crave more attention when they were heavily involved with their mobile devices, which prompted negative interactions such as snapping at kids.

However, these caregivers said that mobile technology also provides ‘an escape’ from the boredom and stress of parenting and home life demands.

Although parents feel technology is ‘an escape’ or a reminder that they have a life outside of their children and work, researchers suggest parents should identify device stressors, track mobile usage and set boundaries in order to balance work, home and social lives

Another mom views being connected after a long day is a reminder that she has a life beyond her kids.

‘It’s much harder to toggle between mom or dad brain and other aspects of life because the boundaries have all blurred together,’ says Radesky.

‘We wanted to understand how this was affecting parents emotionally.

‘We found that parents are struggling to balance family time and the desire to be present at home with technology-based expectations like responding to work and other demands.’

RULES KIDS WISH PARENTS WOULD FOLLOW WITH DEVICES

Be present — Children felt there should be no technology at all in certain situations, such as when a child is trying to talk to a parent

Child autonomy — Parents should allow children to make their own decisions about technology use without interference

Moderate use — Parents should use technology in moderation and in balance with other activities

Supervise children — Parents should establish and enforce technology-related rules for children’s own protection

Not while driving — Parents should not text while driving or sitting at a traffic light

No hypocrisy — Parents should practice what they preach, such as staying off the Internet at mealtimes

No oversharing — Parents shouldn’t share information online about their children without explicit permission

Other positives of the technology is the ability to work at home, it makes it easier to communicate with estranged family members by allowing a more ‘filtered’ view of their life and it also serves as a tool to keep peace in quiet in the house.

‘You don’t have to be available to your children 100 percent of the time — in fact, it’s healthy for them to be independent,’ Radesky says.

‘It’s also important for parents to feel relevant at work and other parts of their lives.’

‘However, we are seeing parents overloaded and exhausted from being pulled in so many different directions.’