Shadow and Old Habits

In order for me to grow as a person, I had to confront inner demons and past shadows. Everyone does. When I had a breakthrough I naively thought I had solved the problem; I had conquered the shadow never to deal with it again. I could not be farther from the truth.

The shadows will always be with me. Not in a depressing, woe is me kind of way, but they are habit patterns that protected my ego for so long. Triggers and similar life experiences will cause these old habits to come to the surface. With awareness and a grounded head, I can spot these patterns, disrupt them, and complete the sequence with something better.

The famed psychologist, Carl Jung, oft said the shadow can never be removed; the goal is to have the shadow in front, in the light, where it can be seen at all times. When it slips behind us is when things get ugly.

Some Maintenance Required

One of the first women I dated broke things off when neediness and fear of abandonment overtook my emotions. When I recognized the shadow behind that, I felt elated to never make that mistake again. Within a month I had driven another woman away for similar reasons.

No matter what the shadow, it takes tons of practice to get it under control. Even after decades of self work, introspection, and correcting old habits, there are elements of the shadow that will inevitably slip into my and your own life. There are a few main things you can do to stop old habits, but you must make sure you never consider them gone for good.

And why should you? There is gold in your shadow. Instead of running away from your inner demons and past traumas, you can face it head first and turn it into an asset that helps you. If there is some kind of pain revolving around a particular aspect of your life, turn it into a strength. Use that shadow to create true gold for yourself, live happy, and prosper.

Finding the Shadow

You may have never considered what your shadows are. It isn’t easy to find when you don’t know what you are looking for. I chose to utilize many practices, including guided meditations into my past and core wounds. I participated in the Mankind Project new warrior training weekend, which utilized psychology, visualizations, and group support to weed out my shadow and bring awareness to the self-sabotage.

The most accessible way for you might be to see a therapist or find a psychologist that can help. Forget the stigma, leave the connotations behind, and find the shadow so that it can have less of an impact on your life.