The Shocking Thing Men Are Insecure About in Bed

It’s not exactly news that penis size is a big deal to the male ego. Yet there’s another measurement that matters to dudes, as well: how much semen they ejaculate per orgasm. Yep, this was actually the subject of research. A small study presented last fall at the World Meeting on Sexual Medicine and just published as an abstract in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that guys tend to exaggerate the volume of their spunk, and volume has a lot to do with how sexually satisfied they are.

To find out just how big an impact semen quantity had on a guy, a team of researchers enrolled 70 men in a study. They had participants answer questions regarding the amount of semen they believed they produced, if it had changed as they aged, and how satisfied they were with that perceived amount. The results: Most of the men overestimated their output—and the amount they believed came out played an important role when it came to how sexually satisfied the men were.

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The thing we can’t wrap our heads around is: Why do guys seem to think semen quantity equals sexual prowess? Part of it has to do with the general bigger-is-better mindset that men have when it comes to their equipment, says New York City sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of She Comes First. (Kerner was not part of the study.) But it also reflects the way porn has shaped men’s views of what is normal and what isn’t.  “I see a lot of men who are concerned that they aren’t ejaculating enough,” says Kerner. “That worry appears to be driven by expectations based on what they see in porn, where a man will produce this propulsion of semen, which is often faked.”

For the record, the average amount of semen that comes out during a guy’s O is a third of a teaspoon to a little more than a teaspoon. And that quantity depends on a lot of factors, such as how long it’s been since his last climax as well as his age; by his 40s and 50s, guys can expect to see less fluid per ejaculate. (No wonder the men over 60 in the study were least likely to be satisfied with their spunk output). Yet the amount of semen generally has nothing to do with his sexual stamina, says Kerner.

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