This Is How Long Happy Couples Date Before Tying the Knot

In the 1980s, researchers documented 168 couples’ relationships and happiness levels for 14 years starting in 1981. The study, named the PAIR Project, found that most happily married couples dated for about 25 months pre-wedding (including engagement).

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However, a more recent 2008 sampling of 633 highly-educated married women found that happily hitched ladies dated their husbands for even longer: about 3.6 years. The author of the survey Shauna Springer, Ph.D., author of Marriage for Equals: The Successful Joint (Ad)Ventures of Well-Educated Couples, also found that the honeymoon stage of a relationship can last up to two years, says Springer.

Regardless of the exact amount of time, dating for multiple years is probably linked to a greater chance of wedding bliss because by then you and your partner have probably gone through some conflict, like agreeing on a new apartment or figuring out whose family you’ll spend time with over the holidays, says Springer. Learning to face challenges together and communicate effectively is an important part of understanding whether a partnership has potential for the long haul, she says.

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Of course, you should take all of this with a grain of salt since the research on the perfect amount of time together pre-wedding is limited to less than a handful of studies, most of which weren’t published in a scientific journal.

On top of that, the studies tend to be small, which makes them tough to apply to the general population. For example, The PAIR Project is one of the most notable examples and it surveyed less than 200 couples. Plus, it dates back to the 80s when people were marrying younger than they are today, says Ogolsky.

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So, yeah, it’s hard to say whether two years is actually the sweet spot, says Ogolsky. No matter how long you’ve been dating, the most important thing is that you’ve gone through (and come out of) some rough patches and have learned how to handle the tough stuff. Assuming you’re happy with each other, see eye to eye on the important stuff, like kids, religion, cats vs. dogs, etc., that’s a pretty good gauge, he says.

Plus, we all know couples who’ve been happily married for years despite getting hitched after two months of dating—and those who dated forever and still ended up splitting (RIP Brangelina). The best timeline: You do you.