What It’s Like When Your First Relationship Becomes Your Only Relationship

Finding the person you’re meant to spend rest of your life with usually isn’t easy, but for a select few, “the one” happens to be their very first boyfriend or girlfriend. We asked three such ladies (and one such dude) what it’s like to have your first partner be your last.

“I spotted my now-fiancé, Becca, in high school during freshman orientation. We hung out in different groups, but during junior year we were both in a play and we started hanging out. One night at the end of that year, we were driving home from rehearsal, and I asked, ‘So, uh, do you want to be my girlfriend? Should we put this on Facebook or something?’” —Mike L., 25

“I met my fiancé during my senior year of college, and we dated for a few months. Then, we ended up breaking up for two years. After graduation, I moved back home, and I went on a handful of first dates, but nothing ever turned into a relationship or even a second date. We got back together when I moved back to the place I attended college.” —Flor A., 28

“I met my fiancé in seventh grade biology class. On our first date, his dad dropped us off at the movie theater to see Anger Management and picked us up afterward. By 10th grade, we were officially dating.” —Amanda C., 28

“We met in junior high school, and we’ve been together for 10 years. While we were hanging out in the park with a group of kids in seventh grade, he gave me a piggyback ride and I developed a crush on him. During freshman year of high school, he asked me to be his date for homecoming. During the last slow dance song, which was “I’ll be” by Edwin McCain, he asked me to be his girlfriend.” —Kaitlin J., 24

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“A lot of people think that you need to experience everything to know what’s worthwhile, but that’s a losing battle. I don’t feel like I’m settling with Becca. I’m not just giving up on dating because I’m lazy. I’m just happy, and I love our time together—which is a pretty clear indicator that our relationship is good.” —Mike  L.

“I get that a lot. Usually people say, ‘Really? He’s the only one you dated, and now you’re marrying him?’ But I think everyone is different. If I didn’t think our relationship was going to work, I would have jumped ship already.” —Flor A.

“I learned that I need to trust my gut. Even though were engaged now, my friends are especially vocal about how I missed out on different college experiences because of my boyfriend. They ask me how I know what I like if I’ve only had one boyfriend. But I feel fulfilled, and I don’t think that there is anyone that understands me as well as he does. Maybe it’s true that I don’t know what’s out there, but I don’t feel like I’m missing anything.” —Amanda C.

“When I was in college, I met other guys, but I would always compare them to my boyfriend. I would think about if they had something that I wanted that Matt didn’t have, but I always realized that my relationship had everything I wanted.” —Kaitlin J.

“Sometimes, I’m just confused because I’ve never really dated. If they ask for advice, I’m pretty useless. But I love hearing about their bad dates and online dating stories—even if I have no idea what’s happening.” —Amanda C.

“I have no idea how to date someone or go on a first date. I feel like I would be the most awkward person. Also, I just don’t understand the whole Tinder thing; it seem so sketchy.” —Kaitlin J.

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“I read this article on porn about how it affects men. It said the more porn you watch, the crazier expectations you have for sex. I think if you’re always looking for the next best hookup, you can’t enjoy the experience you have. I don’t think having more sex with other people would make me more satisfied than I am right now.” —Mike L.

“We lost our virginity to each other, so that’s kind of funny, but it doesn’t bother us. If we wanted to try something new together, we can. To me, sex is important, but it’s not my number one priority.” —Flor A.

“I have a lot of open friends, so I hear a lot of their experiences. Listening to their stories is enough for me.” —Amanda C.

“We’ve always been really open about what we want in bed. But since I’ve only had one partner, that’s all I know. One of my friends said that the last guy she was seeing was her best sex partner, but now every time she sleeps with someone, she’s comparing him to the other guy—that’s a problem I will never have.” —Kaitlin J.

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“The tendency is to assume that people like us are small-minded or from a small town, but that’s not always true.” —Amanda C.

“We’re not as weird as you might think. It’s not like I said, ‘I’m gonna find my wife in high school, and then I’m good.’ I think people would be surprised to know that staying with one person can make you happy.” —Mike L.