Why It’s a Good Thing If Your Guy Has a Female Friend (Even If She’s Really Pretty)

She’s funny, smart, easy to get along with—and secretly your worst nightmare. If your guy has a close platonic girlfriend, you may outwardly be all hugs and “I’ve heard so much about you!”s, but it’s hard to get past the nagging jealousy and competitiveness that comes with encountering a woman who your dude logs so many waking hours with. Before you spend too much time quietly seething about the situation, it may be time to consider that if you’re dating a guy who has friendships with women, you should consider yourself lucky. Here’s why.

1. Guys With Female Friends Respect Women
The old When Harry Met Sally adage that “men and women can’t really be friends” may be a solid premise for a romantic comedy, but it’s a troubling implication. If a man is actually incapable of being friends with a woman because he is ultimately attracted to them, it seems unlikely that he is able to actually see women as much more than sexual beings. A man who can successfully maintain long friendships with women, on the other hand, is likely bringing that egalitarian mindset to the workplace, or anywhere else where he is encountering people of both sexes. Men who can recognize women for their intellectual worth are likely better conversationalists and are much more adept at demonstrating empathy within their relationships. In other words, he’s probably a better boyfriend because he is able to view women as, you know, people.

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2. She Can Give the Female Perspective When You Two Disagree
Arguments in a romantic relationship are unavoidable—and it helps to have her there for him to talk to. Rather than seeing her as your nemesis, realize that you have a built-in advocate who will defend the female perspective when you two have a spat. She’s much less likely than his male friends to default to simply taking his version of a story as gospel; and in the grand tradition of possessing two X chromosomes, she’s also more likely to call him on his B.S. when necessary. Getting some perspective from an outside source can help him to get better at seeing things from your point of view—and can ultimately help him to realize the inevitable truth that you are always right.

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3. You Two Might Have a Lot in Common
Sure, it might drive you crazy when the two of them launch into that old inside joke (again), but the fact that she’s so close to your man means you two probably have at least a handful of similar personality traits. There’s only one “girlfriend” crown, and you’re wearing it, so don’t allow feelings of insecurity to stop you from forming what could be a really fun and rewarding friendship. If nothing else, you’ll be glad she’s there to rescue you that night you decide it’s a good idea to join him and his friends for UFC fighting at that bar that smells like urine and desperation.

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