healthmedicinet

Getting a dog is exhilarating—you have a new best friend! He’s really cute! You can go everywhere together! And then you learn pretty quickly what all dog owners know…

1. Your Stuff Is Screwed
That chic Persian rug you got on sale? Peed on. Peed on again. Those new pumps you spent a fortune on? Good luck ID-ing the body.

 

2. Your Dog Doesn’t Care That There’s a Hurricane Raging Outside
Heck, even a sharknado won’t stop him from whining to go out the second Jaws flies by your door. Oh, and you better believe it’ll take him five minutes to find the right spot.

 

3. Doggy Mom Guilt Runs Deep

Everyone is going away for a day trip—fun! You will drive like a madwoman to get back home, all the while wishing you’d taught your dog to text emotional updates before you left.

 

4. Happy Hour Is About to Become a Distant Memory
You know how nice it is to meet your friends after work for $2 beer and cheap tapas? Yeah, see No. 3.

 

5. You Will Become That Facebook Friend
Your dog is sooo cute when he naps. And, oh! You got a pic of him standing next to a flower! Now, it looks like he’s sniffing it(!!!). What’s the photo limit on a Facebook gallery again?

MORE: 10 Life Lessons We’ve Learned From Facebook 

 

6. You’re Suddenly Very, Very Poor
If he needs to go to a doggy allergist/psychologist/masseuse, you will take him. You can’t put a price on your dog’s wellbeing. He’s your child.

MORE: And the Most Pet-Obsessed City in the U.S. Is…

 

7. Your Dog Is the Opposite of Scary
Um…maybe he can lick a burglar into submission?

 

8. Your Dog Has a Weird Phobia
Never mind that you’ve never heard of Astraphobia before. You will become the ation’s world’s leading canine expert on it.

 

9. You Will Discover Your Mom Voice
And it ain’t pretty.

 

10. You Start Saying “We”
That weird verbal tick you got when you and your boyfriend first got together? It’s back.

 

11. You Will Accidentally Touch Poop at Some Point
Just accept it.

 

12. You Have a New Best Friend—for Real
Your dog is loyal, sweet, and (at times) totally hilarious. You’re hooked. Even better, the feeling is mutual.

MORE: 5 Health Benefits of Owning a Pet