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According to recent Census Bureau data, more than 80 percent of Americans live in urban areas. And the rest of us? We’re kicking it in small places you’ve probably never heard of. Here are the undeniable signs y’all are one of us small-town folk.

American Is a Religion
It’s the 4th of July/Memorial Day/Flag Day 24/7, 365! You can’t walk 10 feet without tripping over an American flag. And if you don’t have one hanging in front of your house, well, that’s just weird—and un-American.

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You Get Miffed When Someone Doesn’t Wish You a “Good Morning”
Because that’s what normal human beings do. (They must be from out of town.)

You’ve Said “Y’all” At Least Once
It’s like a rare, small town-specific form of Tourette’s.

Pickup Trucks Are the Unofficial Town Mascot
You think they’re lame until you realize they’re really, really convenient for hauling your cr*p.

Your Dining Options Are Limited
There are about two good restaurants, and you better believe that you’re there on the regular.

 

Everybody Knows Your Name
If they don’t, they will soon. There are only so many people to keep tabs on.

You’ve Gotten Stuck On the Road Behind a Tractor
It’s okay. It happens. Just go with it.

 

You Have “Your” Grocery Store Checkout Lady
She doesn’t just know your name; she’ll ask about the results of that pregnancy test you bought last week. Loudly.

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People Say “Merry Christmas” and “Happy Hanukkah”
“Happy holidays”—psh. That’s for city folk who don’t know who they’re talking to.

 

There Are At Least Three Country Radio Stations
At least. After a while, you just give up and rock out to “Friends In Low Places.”

 

Everyone Knows Your Business
Your co-workers, your hairdresser, your friend’s cousin’s sister…they know about that guy you made out with two years ago and never called back—and they still talk about it.

You Keep Your Political Views On the DL
You know what everyone’s political affiliation is, and if you’re under the age of 50, there’s a good chance it doesn’t match yours.

There’s Some Kind of Festival Every Season
Blueberry Fest, Pumpkin Fest, Polar Bear Fest—this is how we roll.

You’ve Been On a Hayride
…and been to a bonfire. And despite the PG-rating, you know they’re pretty damn epic.

 

You Take Trips to the Big City
You’re mingling with the rest of the world—awesome! Give it 24 hours, and you’re clambering to get the heck OUT.

You Buy Your Clothes Online
The local mall is a 90-minute drive away. You’d better really, really want to try on those skinny jeans.

There’s Some Form of Agriculture
Whether it’s the local 4-H club or full-blown farms, people around you know their greenery. (Oh, and it’s just “ag,” by the way.)

You Feel Really Good About Your Age
You will be called “young” well into your 40s by a good portion of the town’s population.

 

You Have a Dog. And Probably a Kid Or Three.
What else are you going to do with your time?

There’s At Least One White Picket Fence
This is the American dream, baby! People are going all out.

Everything Closes By 9 p.m.
And that’s pushing it. Why? Because…

…People Get Up Really Freaking Early
Early to bed, early to rise, and all that jazz. It’s a vicious, vicious cycle.

 

You’re Incredibly Protective of the Place
You’re the first one to bash it, but secretly you’re kind of obsessed with it.

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