Pregnancy and childbirth change a woman’s hormones in unpredictable ways. Some women are turned on by almost anything during pregnancy, while others lose interest altogether. “The after-effects of vaginal delivery and exhaustion mean sex gets shelved as everyone adjusts to the new lifestyle,” says Gloria Brame, Ph.D., sex therapist and author of Different Loving.
On top of that cock-blocker, the way you see yourself can change. “For example, your role may shift to a less sexual, more parent-y model,” she says. One of the best ways to get your groove back is discussing your old sexcapades, says Orbuch. “Talking to your partner about sex can be sexually arousing for you both,” she says.
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While dirty talk can get you in the mood, an easy way to make sex actually happen is to put it on the calendar, says Orbuch. “Getting those parts moving again will lead to more sex,” she says.