My intent is not to make the boys out to be villains, but to draw awareness to the cultural mindset they were raised in. A cultural mindset of merciless hyper competition, which leaves no room for compassion or empathy. The fact that no reasonable adult in the boys’ defense saw it fit for the boys to plead guilty so as to save the girl further pain and discuss compensation to the girl and her family, is evidence of a cultural madness. Then again if those two teens subscribed to a mentality of compassion for others, this incident would next have happened. Â
So if you, a decent human being find yourself raising your child in such a cultural mindset, what can you do? Role model what you want your child to become. Don’t be afraid to pull your son or daughter off that sports team (for a reasonable length of time) if he or she has done something hurtful to someone. Most parents resort to this action after bad grades, but such actions should also be extended for bad behavior, particularly bad behavior towards others. Â
During a recent soccer tournament here in Tucson, some coaches and parents were booted from the venue for verbally abusing the referees and tournament organizers for calls they disagreed with. When I heard of this, I wondered why in the world, parents would allow they children to witness adults behaving badly on their team. Then again, some of the culprits where parents too. I would waste no time pulling my child from that team, and letting him or her know why.Â
Teaching your child accountability and compassion goes a long way, positively. Â
So what are your thoughts? All respectable agreements or disagreements with this post are most welcome.
Ugo is a psychotherapist and owner of Road 2 Resolutions, a professional counseling and life coaching private practice located in Tucson AZ.
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