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A Psychologist Weighs in on How The Bachelorette’s New Twist Will Affect Her Chances at Love

To say Bachelor Nation was divided about who the next Bachelorette should be is like saying the Kardashians like a touch of mascara: a massive understatement. Which of Chris Soules’ exes would get the chance? Would it be Britt Nilsson, the divisive beauty who manages to have a glorious head of hair even though she doesn’t wash it every day? Or Kaitlyn Bristowe, the gorgeous, hilarious dancer who had her guard up for most of the season? As Chris Harrison revealed on The Bachelor’s “After the Final Rose” episode last night, it’ll actually be both of them. “So the 25 men on night one are going to have the ultimate say about who they think would make the best wife,” said Chris. Cue big “WTF?!” responses from pretty much everyone watching.

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“Eventually, only one woman will be left to hand out the final rose,” says ABC’s official press release. While Kaitlyn seems to have won over practically everyone watching, Britt’s had a tougher go of it. Even people who aren’t her biggest fans should see why it would be hard for her to be backstage during “After the Final Rose,” listening to people cheer enthusiastically for Kaitlyn to be the next Bachelorette—and then cheer much less so for her. It seems like the beginning of The Bachelorette will be filled with more of the same: pitting two women who are totally awesome in their own rights against each other. This is like some sort of Survivor/Bachelorette mashup where only one woman can make it at the end. Isn’t The Bachelorette supposed to put the power into women’s hands? We went to Jane Greer, Ph.D., creator of the media commentary “Shrink Wrap with Dr. Jane Greer” and author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship, to see how this twist will change the Bachelorette’s experience.

“This new element of can either raise or lower the Bachelorette’s self-esteem,” says Greer. It’s really dependent on a few things that aren’t yet clear:

Will the Women Know Who Chooses Them?
Because if they do, that could be trouble (so they probably will, because drama = more viewers). “If the Bachelorette knows that certain men preferred the other woman, it can make her question herself,” says Greer. That’s especially true if the race is really close and only a few guys make the difference between the final Bachelorette scoring the role.

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Will the Guys Who Didn’t Vote for The Winning Bachelorette Go Home?
The press release doesn’t offer these details, but since they’re only starting with 25 men, it stands to reason that at least some of the guys will stick it out whether their ideal Bachelorette is chosen or not. “This would certainly neutralize the woman’s power in some sense,” says Greer. “If she’s left with guys who don’t want her as much as they wanted the other woman, they just won’t care as much as she does.” On the other hand, if she only has to deal with the guys who wanted her most, it could boost her confidence, says Greer. At least then she’d know they were there for “the right reasons.”

What If the Bachelorette Falls for a Guy Who Preferred the Other Woman?
Going on dates with men who wanted the other candidate to be Bachelorette instead might mess with the “winner’s” mind, says Greer. “It could undermine her confidence because we like to think that if we find someone attractive, they’ll find us equally attractive. When you lack that reciprocity, it can make you feel insecure and lead you to question your desirability.”

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Yes, it’s true that the show tried the two bachelors thing in season six. Still, with the current reality-TV trend of encouraging women to act as hysterical as possible, it feels like a ploy for ratings instead of a commitment to helping someone find true love. While we know that the show is all about ratings, shouldn’t they at least try to keep up the façade of caring about the women on it?

Want to know what people who have been through the process think? Some of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette’s most recent contestants weighed in, and they’re not applauding this huge shake-up.

What are your thoughts? Is it completely unfair to both women or an exciting way to boost The Bachelorette’s drama? Sound off below!

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