“Be honest about your motives for compromising,” says certified sex therapist Kat Van Kirk, Ph.D. “If stepping out of your comfort zone is something you know will serve you and your relationship in the long run, then it may be worth taking the plunge.” If, however, you’re compromising out of guilt or a sense of obligation, step back and advocate for yourself.
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Say he wants to try anal, for example. You can try working up to what he wants over time or just choose another behavior you feel more comfortable with. “Sex begets sex, which means it might take a little investment from the both of you,” says Van Kirk. Obviously, if you don’t want to try anything remotely like what he’s suggesting, you shouldn’t.