Simply knowing that no relationship is rousing all the time can help you accept and wait out the slow times. So can realizing that less-than-thrilling moments make the actual thrilling ones that much better, says Mark. But ignore long-standing ennui at your own risk: Studies show people who have strong relationships are happier, healthier, and live longer.
Here are few ways to switch things up:
Do something different together.
It’s a cliché, but true: Exploring a new city or activity fosters closeness. Keep in mind, though, that this works only if you’re both interested—no prodding your craft-beer guy into going wine tasting.
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Walk down memory lane.
Revisit the site of your first date or the place you got engaged. Nostalgia reminds you of what’s important, which provides a sense of meaning that can be a cure for boredom, say experts.
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Enjoy sexploration.
Talking openly about sex can increase overall communication and the amount of nooky you have—the relationship zones hit hardest by boredom. So sit yourselves down and each make a list of activities you haven’t tried together (e.g., full-body massage, sexting), marking every item with yes, no, or maybe; then swap. Nos are forbidden, but everything else is up for discussion or exploration. (Spice up your sex life with these products from the Women’s Health Boutique.)
Add a little fear.
Thrill seekers can get a boost from the so-called shaky bridge effect: An adrenaline-raising sitch—say, crossing a rickety bridge or riding a rollercoaster—induces an amped-up state of arousal, intensifying your connection.
This article was originally published in the November 2016 issue of Women’s Health, on newsstands now.