healthmedicinet

 

Do you remember playing as a kid? How many of us have stopped doing the things that we loved in favor of serious business, things that are productive? Or stay away from activities or projects unless we excel at them?

Stuart Brown, MD of the Play Institute has done substantial research to show the importance of play.  Play helps improve problem-solving skills, learning, creativity, organization, leadership, social skills and decreases propensity for violent activity.

Dr. Brown states that play:

 

• is voluntary
• has no obvious survival value or is apparently purposeless
• is pleasurable or fun
• creates a diminished sense of time and self consciousness
• is improvisational

Want to start playing?

Do something that you don’t have to do
I wonder if anyone else has had the experience of picking up a book we read in high school and found it was actually…enjoyable.  It’s like the book was better simply because it wasn’t assigned.

Do something that has no stakes
Coloring has many virtues to recommend it.  If you even sort-of stay in the lines, then the worst colored page isn’t really that different than the best colored page.  You don’t have to show anyone your work, and there is little chance of profiting off of it.  If you do decide to just scribble all over the page, no one gets hurt and no one has to know.  It’s yours.

Do something you’re really bad at (or at which you’re really bad?)
This is so counter-intuitive that you might be ready to bail, but before you go, just think: there is so much pressure to be great at everything: our work, parenting, cleaning, documenting with pictures.  We’re so on display and it’s so easy to feel judged and inadequate.  It can actually bring intense relief to approach something while giving ourselves full permission to just…do it.
Like most people, I feel my job is Important with a capital I. I have to be the BEST THERAPIST I can be or I will have failed my clients, all survivors of sexual violence, most with complex trauma, and I can’t bear the thought that someone would pay for my inadequacy.  That’s a lot of weight to carry.

So I took up violin.

Do you know what violin sounds like when someone is just learning? It’s really bad.  But I can’t tell you what joy it is to sit down with it and know that there no stakes!  I can just play and if I’m terrible no one gets hurt.  And I lose myself in it.  I can play two notes over and over again and just get lost in the movement and the rhythm.

Don’t know where to start?

What did you enjoy as a child?
Were you fascinated with Etch-a-Sketch, Play-doh, Lite Bright (these might resonate with other children of the 80’s)?  It’s not too late.  Go get it!  And spend some time with it.  Just soak up the joy.

When did you say no when you wanted to say yes?
Do you find yourself fantasizing about pottery classes? Or wanted to take singing lessons, but thought “Why?  I’m not good enough.  It’d never be a career.”  It’s not wasting time or money to play, and you are worth it.

Check in with your friends
Got friends who seem to always have fun projects?  Not the ones who intimidate you with their prowess and efficiency, but the ones who knit funny little hats, or go to Wine and Art activities.  Tag along with them.  People who play are by description not-self conscious, able to prioritize themselves when they need to, and fun.  This is contagious and with a little effort, you will be too.

What is something you can do this week (yes, this week–even with all the hustle) to play?

 

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And they are apparently too stupid to realize how easy it is to ensure they are called out for their bad behavior.

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    Last reviewed: 19 Dec 2013