“I’d been commercially sexually exploited, too, and at 22 had been out of the sex industry for only three years.â€
What I also knew (that many of the girls didn’t know yet) was how hard it is to leave, to start from scratch, to heal from the trauma, and to begin to feel like you actually belonged in the “square†world. We all knew how incredibly judgmental almost everyone was about our experiences and the stigma that hung like a black cloud over our heads.
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While some of the specifics of our experiences or the language we used to describe them may have been different, our experiences as commercially sexually exploited and trafficked youth looked much the same. It was this empathy and sense of shared experience that led me to create Girls Educational and Mentoring Services (GEMS), New York’s first organization designed to serve commercially sexually exploited girls and young women.
I was only 23, and I had no idea of what running a non-profit would be like. What I did know, though, was that the girls I was meeting in jail, court, group homes, and detention facilities, and in the wee hours of the morning on the streets, were smart, funny, beautiful young women who deserved to have support and opportunities. And I knew if I’d managed to get out of the sex industry and leave my pimp, these girls could, too.
“While some of the specifics of our experiences or the language we used to describe them may have been different, our experiences as commercially sexually exploited and trafficked youth looked much the same.â€
I was so frustrated with the attitudes of everyone around these girls. Police, counselors, lawyers, medical professionals, teachers, really everyone who was supposedly there to serve them, saw them (and me) as dirty girls, bad girls, worthless girls who had made bad choices and deserved what we’d gotten. So I knew when I started GEMS that a big part of the work would be changing those attitudes and perceptions and ultimately changing the policies that stigmatized and criminalized exploited children and youth. I didn’t know when I started GEMS on my kitchen table with a borrowed computer, $30 worth of Staples office supplies, and a living room couch for the girls to sleep on, was how long and hard that fight would be. And I definitely couldn’t have ever predicted how joyful, empowering, or healing working with trafficked girls and young women would be, and how grateful I would be to have them in my life.
We are so thankful for your support, encouragement, and activism as we work together to make a better #worldforgirls. We could not do our work without you all! From all of us at GEMS, have a very #HappyThanksgiving!
A photo posted by GEMSGIRLS (@gemsgirls) on Nov 26, 2015 at 7:17am PST
As GEMS heads into our 18th year of existence, serving over 400 girls and young women each year, providing prevention education and outreach to over 1000 at-risk youth and training and educating over 2,000 professionals around the country annually, I’m so proud of what we’ve built and the amount of lives we’ve been able to touch. I’m proud of the NY State Safe Harbor Act that we co-wrote and that our amazing youth leaders advocated for, which, in 2008, made New York the first state in the nation to pass a law that recognized exploited children as victims, not criminals. That law has been recreated in multiple states throughout the country, and there’s been a massive change in how we view the issue of trafficking and commercial sexual exploitation of children (and slowly, adults) within our own borders.
This year’s official #NewYork state proclamation – proclaiming June 24, 2015 as End Commercial Sexual Exploitation of Child Day! #EndCSEC and make a better #worldforgirls! #GEMS #gemsgirls
A photo posted by GEMSGIRLS (@gemsgirls) on Jun 26, 2015 at 8:55am PDT
I’m proud of the 90-plus girls enrolled in our Educational Initiative program and I’m proud of the eight young women who graduated college this year. There are so many things that GEMS has done over almost two decades now that I’m proud of, but what gives me the most satisfaction is what the girls and I have come to understand and internalize over the years:
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Now they know what it feels like to be loved unconditionally.
They know what it feels like to be surrounded by strong women who nurture and support them.
They know what it’s like to see themselves as young women of purpose and worth, and know that they deserve to be safe from violence and exploitation.
They know that they can succeed, that they can accomplish their educational and employment goals because they have a community of support and resources.
And they know now that there are strangers out there who believe in them and care, who send them Christmas gifts and buy sheets and towels for the housing program, and donate to GEMS and volunteer to tutor them and run groups and who see them not as bad girls or worthless girls but powerful, strong, resilient young leaders who truly are deserving of all the opportunities and resources every child deserves.
“Now they know what it feels like to be loved unconditionally. They know what it feels like to be surrounded by strong women who nurture and support them.â€
Today at our annual Christmas party, replete with our on-staff Santa, massive amounts of mac n’cheese and turkey, and beautiful gift bags filled with pajamas and toiletries (which Women’s Health donated with the help of Kotex and Tampax, heeey!), I watched girls who have been hurt and abused in so many ways hug each other, laugh, take pictures, dance, and sing. One of my girls said to me, “I feel so loved.†I smiled and replied, “You are, you’re very loved.†“I know,†she said.
A few of our staffers dropped by @gemsgirls last week to drop off some gifts for young women in need #WHholidayspirit
A photo posted by Women’s Health Magazine (@womenshealthmag) on Dec 22, 2015 at 11:56am PST
Special thanks to Kotex and Tampax for helping Women’s Health provide a generous donation to GEMS.