6 Expert-Approved Tips For Dating With Anxiety

Pay attention to the stories you’re telling yourself in anticipation of the date, said Jennifer Rollin, a psychotherapist in North Potomac, Maryland. Just because you think you’ll spend the whole night stuttering out of nervousness and mispronouncing menu items doesn’t mean that’s necessarily going to happen. 

“When you view your thoughts as ‘just stories,’ you can distance yourself from the ones that are unhelpful,” she said. “Let’s say that you are thinking ‘I’m going to come across as insecure’ or ‘If people knew about my anxiety, no one would want to date me.’ Rather then judging yourself for having these thoughts, simply notice them and then determine whether that train of thought is helpful or unhelpful.”

When a thought is unproductive, filter it out and try to replace it with something more optimistic, Rollin recommended. 

“For example, you might tell yourself, ‘No matter how this date goes, I am proud of myself for facing my anxiety and putting myself out there.’”