‘The Huge Moment That Helped Me Learn To Embrace My Amputation’
Before this, I was a charismatic kid who did musical theater and worked a part-time job bagging groceries and loading them into people’s cars. I noticed my feet were hurting every day, but it wasn’t until one of my feet went numb—two months later—that my mom took me to the doctor, who had me rushed to the hospital. I had a massive blood clot, and there was no blood flow to the toes in my right foot. We got to it too late, and my foot got gangrene. They amputated my right leg—my knee and everything below it—in December 2007.
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I felt useless and depressed. I had a moment where I reached down to touch the bed where my leg was and just felt the sheets. After that I cried uncontrollably. I thought, No one will ever want you like this, and I swore off dating forever.
After graduating, I fell into a dark place. I wasn’t dating. I gained weight. I hated seeing myself naked, to the point where I’d cover the bathroom mirror with a towel before I showered. I stopped walking on my prosthetic and overate myself deeper into depression. Then a friend sent me a picture from my Halloween party, and I saw myself in my wheelchair—at 350 pounds—almost too big to fit into it. A calm washed over me. I knew that I couldn’t use my disability as an excuse anymore and I needed to lose weight.
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Going to the gym in a wheelchair was scary, so I decided on the YMCA, which was disability-friendly. I went from a size 30 to a 16 in about two and a half years. Dropping pounds as a person with a disability is no joke. You hurt more than other people. You have less energy. That is why many people with disabilities struggle with obesity. Soon, I started walking again. First on crutches. Then on a cane. Now, I can walk freely.
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As I got healthier, I decided to take a life-changing trip to Europe in January 2016. I felt so alive. I thought, Why did I waste so many years in a wheelchair eating myself to death? After that, I knew my purpose: to see the world. And now here I am as an amputee woman, traveling everywhere, dating a great guy, happy. I even started a blog where I write about safe ways people with disabilities can travel.
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I no longer look at my leg as a burden. Instead, I see it as a challenge. There is nothing stronger than a person empowered by their adversity. When I’m in the gym lifting heavy weights, or visiting a new country, I am doing it through my own strength and willpower. Life—and sex! and travel!—doesn’t stop because you had a limb amputated.”
For more on Sarah, check out her blog oneleggedwanderlust.com. To learn more about life after an amputation, visit amputee-coalition.org. Amputee Coalition is a leading nonprofit organization dedicated to limb loss.
This article originally appeared in the September 2017 issue of Women’s Health. For more great advice, pick up a copy of the issue on newsstands now!