- 40% of childless couples had only spoken about the issue once or never
19:04 EST, 24 April 2014
|
00:15 EST, 25 April 2014
279
View
comments
It is one of the biggest decisions a couple will make. But many decide not to have children after just one conversation, says a study.
It found that 36 per cent had decided not to have children after only discussing it once.
A further 5 per cent had not talked about the issue at all, said the survey of 75 women aged 35 or over who did not want a family.
All the time in the world: Many couples decide not to have children after just one conversation
One woman from the survey said: ‘Negotiation? It only needed one brief discussion along the lines of “I don’t want kids-do you?†“Nope, me neitherâ€.
‘Then move onto something more interesting to talk about and neither of us reconsidered our options. There was no need to.’
Another woman said she had ‘never reached that stage when I thought I must have this conversation’.
Edina Kurdi, a research assistant at Middlesex University, said: ‘Not having children is obviously a very important decision, and what was interesting from the research was the negligible amount of discussion that couples engaged in – many are agreeing not to have children in one conversation, or in an unspoken way.’
Other respondents from the survey said they had just not really discussed the issue.
‘It never really got said,’ said one woman. ‘We had a two-seater car.’
Hours of sleep to enjoy: Developed countries face a decline in fertility and an accelerated rate of childlessness
Another respondent said she and her partner had felt pressure from other people but had still never really wanted to have kids.
‘We were prompted to discuss based on conversation and pressure from friends and family but neither of us wanted kids.’
One woman said that she would not consider dating anyone who did want children.
‘There is no discussion, I don’t want kids and I would never bother to pursue a romantic relationship with someone who did, it would be a pointless endeavour.’
Ms Kurdi added: ‘One possible reason that couples did not need to talk about the issue much is that they could accurately sense their partner did not want children from their beliefs and lifestyle.
‘Very little attention has been paid to the negotiations within romantic relations about not having a family, even though developed countries are facing a general decline in fertility combined with an accelerated rate of childlessness.’
or comment on this article
-
Self-styled Instagram king throws a NAKED porn star off a…
-
Football spectators spooked by stadium ghost
-
Joan Rivers mocks Cleveland kidnapping victims
-
Kate delights three-year-old girl who presents her with…
-
Incredible moment mum shoves pram onto train tracks
-
Heartstopping dashcam footage of deadly head-on crash
-
Adorable dad finds out he’s going to be a grandpa
-
Oprah interviews millionaire bachelor Gurbaksh Chahal
-
Haunting tour of abandoned New Orleans Six Flags theme park
-
The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge attend ANZAC day dawn…
-
Cliven Bundy makes shockingly racist comments
-
Come here Buddy! The Iguana who acts like a pet dog
-
Japanese MP who was angry that Michelle didn’t join…
-
Bye, George! Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s little prince…
-
Shocking mugshots of once clean-cut young parents who went…
-
‘Instagram’s Biggest Playboy’ throws naked porn star off…
-
‘You don’t run the Google?’ Hilarious texts from…
-
A sprig of rosemary and a riderless horse: Kate and William…
-
It ain’t much but it’s home: Couple opt out of the rat race…
-
Lesbian couple devastated after adopted baby they were…
-
Shocking moment pregnant woman was shot in the belly over…
-
The outrageous guidebook given to Buffalo Bills cheerleaders…
-
Doctor-turned-alcohol-entrepreneur ‘Dr Vodka’ killed in…
-
Abandoned America: Photographer obsessed with horror-themed…
Comments (279)
what you think
-
Newest -
Oldest -
Best rated -
Worst rated
The comments below have not been moderated.
afrissore,
Marlborough,
1 hour ago
I have chosen not to have children and it’s a decision I made as a young girl so as not to perpetuate my own mother’s horrible parenting. Snap decision it was NOT. Do NOT minimize the desires of those who choose to not procreate. It’s insulting.
whatever,
NNY,
2 hours ago
It’s even better to discuss the topic before you become a couple – no matter what your preferences are. There’s nothing wrong with wanting or not wanting kids, but it’s terrible if there are two exact opposing views and you have to compromise (including for the kid).Yes, it’s awkward to ask when you’ve just met the gorgeous guy or a girl for their preferences, but believe me it can save a lot of time.
djh1975,
Telford,
2 hours ago
There are good and bad points to having children, things aren’t going to get any easier for the next generation. The world is a complete mess and it’s only going to get worse as people become even more selfish. But there are still some wonderful people out there but it’s becoming more difficult to find these diamonds. More families are breaking up because it’s so easy to have affairs now with the internet and mobiles.
Anny,
Bedford, United Kingdom,
4 hours ago
See FB page Daughters of Narcissistic mothers about women who were not maternal,but had children and abused them,ignorted them,scarred them for life. It has over 3 500 members with chilling stories. Many daughters have severed all contact with their mothers. Better not to have any children then have them just to be fashionable.
afrissore,
Marlborough,
1 hour ago
Trudi,
Worcester, United Kingdom,
5 hours ago
Why would you expect to discuss it over and over again? If you change your mind, clear out. Simple.
Oliver,
Oxford, United Kingdom,
5 hours ago
Its a shame all the dumb and pathetic people breed like rabbits!
ColonelVolestrangler,
Tigham in Notts, United Kingdom,
3 hours ago
Gasman,
Windy City,
5 hours ago
I like kids but made the decision not to have them. I’ve always been more than happy to pay my taxes for their education and health and give regularly to children’s charities. I cry uncontrollably when I read about children being mistreated and abused. People used to tell me that one day I would regret my decision. Now, I’m in my early 60s and I often wonder ‘what if’. Am I sorry for the decision made so many years ago? NO, NO AND NO. I consider my decision to be the most UNSELFISH act of my life!
USSA,
London, United Kingdom,
5 hours ago
People dont have sex to have kids they have sex to have sex, people that have sex to have kids are mentally WRONG in every way.
ColonelVolestrangler,
Tigham in Notts, United Kingdom,
3 hours ago
Ashley,
USA,
6 hours ago
I have two sisters who chose to live childfree and are very happy. My husband and I shared the same values and wanted the same things, we wanted children, we had them and couldn’t be happier. No everyone wants children, but those of us that do are happy with our choices.
userpete86,
IrvineCA, United States,
6 hours ago
I would never question someone who doesn’t want to have kids. I would require people to stop having them to collect benefits for their current children.
The views expressed in the contents above are those of our users and do not necessarily reflect the views of MailOnline.
Find out now