Last summer I became a participant in a secret drug deal. I never considered doing anything illegal, but I was desperate.
This is how it happened. I was away for the weekend with friends, some of whom were women in their 40s and 50s. I found out that a friend, who lives an expat life in a Middle Eastern country with fantastic private health care, had recently been given testosterone gel as part of her HRT medication.
She had noticed a sharp and very welcome improvement. She reported feeling more alert, less forgetful, more able to get up off the couch and be active — and less afraid to sweat the small stuff.
I was fascinated. I had been on HRT (estrogen and progesterone) for about six months but still felt terrible. Pre-menopause, I was full of energy. I trained twice a week at a martial arts club and regularly attended boot camps and boxing classes. Now, even with HRT, I was often in pain, exhausted and unable to concentrate. I would procrastinate myself for hours.
As we were packing at the end of the weekend, my boyfriend took pity on me. “Here,” she whispered. “I have a spare.” She slipped a small silver package into my hand. “Testosterone gel, 50 mg, should last a few weeks.”
Half the population will experience it, but as millions of women in the UK know all too well, even doctors often consider menopause to be something they have to go through (Stock Image)
“How do I take it?”
“You squeeze out a pea-sized chunk of it every day and just rub it on your thigh.”
At home it took me a while before I had the courage to cut open the illegal package. I wanted to do some research first and make sure that trying a small amount wouldn’t end up in the hospital or with an unexpected beard.
When I mustered up the courage to apply it, my pea-sized amounts were more petits pois than the large garden variety. Yet within a week I noticed a formidable transformation. I felt more alert, less stressed, more flexible, less prone to dithering. I slept deeper.
I finally felt like myself again and started to wonder why on earth the NHS doesn’t offer testosterone to all women on HRT.
Testosterone is usually associated with masculinity, but before about 50, women naturally produce this third hormone along with estrogen and progesterone. All those menopausal symptoms that celebrities are now “raising awareness about” — headaches, hot flashes, insomnia, weight gain, joint pain, back pain, irritability, depression, forgetfulness, confusion, anxiety — could be due to a lack of testosterone. as well as a lack of estrogen.
Sometimes the symptoms of menopause are so severe that women who may have just returned to work after raising children end up working fewer hours or quitting their jobs because they feel bewildered and unable to cope. to offer. When you consider that women make up almost half of the UK workforce, you can see that this has major economic implications. Then think of all the unpaid care we do – taking care of our elderly parents and supporting children. You would have thought it would make sense to dose us.
There is a blood test that can help identify menopause by measuring levels of follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) and the main type of estrogen (there are three forms) called estradiol. (stock image)
After finding the missing piece of my hormonal puzzle and slowly running out of the little silver pouch, I booked an appointment with my GP. After a thorough search on the internet, it turned out that I could not buy this stuff anywhere. It really should be prescribed, but at the time I had no doubt that I would be able to convince my GP. After all, testosterone had changed my life.
However, instead of a prescription, I was given a lecture about how little money the NHS has and how money should be allocated to those who need it most. I was told to see a menopause specialist if I wanted testosterone – and there was a waiting list of at least two years.
Towards the end of my appointment, in an effort to lighten the mood, the GP said, “We don’t want you to suddenly turn into a man, do we?” Then she seemed to hold herself back and said very seriously, “Sure, if someone wants to be a man, that’s absolutely OK and we can definitely have a talk about hormones about that.”
I left without questioning her further, but could that really be true? I can’t get the hormone I need as a middle-aged woman, but if I pretended to be in transition, would the NHS hand it over?
Recent reports suggest that there is a shortage of testosterone due to increased demand. Middle-aged men who think their libido needs a boost, women in transition, and middle-aged women are all clamoring for it right now.
However, the irony is that while for older women lacking the hormone, testosterone can be very helpful; for younger women who already have the right levels, extra testosterone can lead to significant health problems.
The NHS website explains that previously approved testosterone preparations for female use were discontinued in the UK for commercial, not medical, reasons. So for all the endless ‘menopause awareness campaigns’ and documentaries organized by Davina McCall, it’s clear that the problem isn’t just a temporary shortage of supply – but that the NHS simply doesn’t consider middle-aged women to be worth the price of testosterone.
- This article originally appeared in The Spectator.
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