Pam De Almeida, a Canadian mother-of-two, regularly shares photos and stories about her 20-month-old daughter, Sophia, who has Down Syndrome.
The honest mother has earned more than 2,600 followers on her blog Slice of Life, which was started in 2015 as a personal project for herself, family and friends.
‘It is dedicated to capturing my perfectly imperfect life of raising a child with Down Syndrome through journalistic photography and written thoughts,’ Ms De Almeida told Daily Mail.
Adoring mum: Pam De Almeida, a Canadian mother-of-two, regularly shares photos and stories about her 20-month-old daughter, Sophia, who has Down Syndrome
Opening up: Despite being known for her heartwarming posts, Ms De Almeida recently shared a powerful piece about the ‘secrets’ of being a special needs mother
Despite being known for her heartwarming posts, Ms De Almeida recently shared a powerful piece about the ‘secrets’ of being a special needs mother.
‘It was prompted by a 14 day hospital stay with Sophia as she was being treated for a blood infection,’ she said.
‘During that time my best friend of 15 years walked away from our friendship, and the time in hospital really allowed me to look internally.’
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‘I am pretty hesitant to share this’: Ms De Almeida’s full post can be read here
‘My best friend of 15 years walked away’: ‘It was prompted by a 14 day hospital stay with Sophia as she was being treated for a blood infection,’ she said of her post
On her Facebook page, Ms De Almeida said the secrets she shared were ones she had never confessed to or talked about.
‘I’ll admit, I am pretty hesitant to share this, but after a few days of thought, I decided I would like to share my secrets,’ she wrote.
Ms De Almeida opened her post by saying she wasn’t always ‘strong’ or ‘brave.’
‘I worry. I cry. I get nervous and anxious. I am told with some frequency “you are such a strong mama!” When in reality I feel anything but strong. I do what needs to be done because I have to. Because there isn’t another option,’ she wrote.
‘I do what needs to be done because I have to’: Ms De Almeida opened her post by saying she wasn’t always ‘strong’ or ‘brave’
‘I have been told I should have aborted Sophia’: Ms De Almeida’s second secret is that cruel words really do hurt
‘And this doesn’t make me special. This doesn’t make me brave. This certainly doesn’t not make me a super mom, because in reality, if you were in my shoes, you would be doing this too. Because ultimately isn’t that what moms do for our kids?!’
Ms De Almeida’s second secret is that cruel words really do hurt.
‘Society as a whole is filled with kind people. Nice people. Down to earth-open-the-door-let-you-in-first-kinda people. But some people are cruel. Now I don’t live in a bubble. I know there is hate in the world,’ she wrote.
‘I know there is racism, prejudice and discrimination. I just didn’t know how real it was until I became a special needs mom. I have been told I should have aborted Sophia. I have been told that she will be a drain on society. I have been told that I am lucky to at least have one “normal” kid at home.
Honest: ‘These words do hurt. I know it seems like I let them just roll off my back. I know it seems like I have a thick skin. But I cry,’ she said, adding that she moves forward in spite of them
‘Maybe they feel like I have enough on my plate’: Ms De Almeida’s third secret is that she has lost friends, and it makes her feel lonely
‘These words do hurt. I know it seems like I let them just roll off my back. I know it seems like I have a thick skin. But I cry.
‘I cried every time someone said these mean things. But I also moved on. Even though these words hurt, I made a point to move forward in spite of them, and not let them have power over me.’
Ms De Almeida’s third secret is that she has lost friends, and it makes her feel lonely.
‘Why? Maybe they cannot understand what it is your going through. Perhaps it’s too hard for them to relate. Maybe they feel like I have enough on my plate that they don’t want to burden me and choose to leave me alone,’ Ms De Almeida wrote.
‘I needed you’: ‘When my life got crazy busy with appointments, therapies, Doctors visits, hospital stays, and treatments, I needed you,’ she said
‘What I want to say to them now is, I needed you. When my life got crazy busy with appointments, therapies, Doctors visits, hospital stays, and treatments, I needed you.
‘I didn’t need space. There was already too much space. I have watched over the years as the “space” between some friends have widened….eventually opening so wide that neither of us could come over again, and it’s heart breaking.’
Ms De Almeida said her fourth secret is one she will never speak.
‘I worry about dying. Specifically Sophia’: Ms De Almeida said her fourth secret is one she will never speak
‘It’s there’: ‘But when your child has health issues and is pretty much at a “higher” risk to develop every disease and catch every sickness there is, it worries you,’ she said
‘I worry about dying. Specifically Sophia. It’s horrible I know. To write these words,’ Ms De Almeida wrote.
‘But when your child has health issues and is pretty much at a “higher” risk to develop every disease and catch every sickness there is, it worries you. You don’t let it consume you.
‘But it’s there….hidden deep into the back corner of your brain and your heart because you know how awful it feels to even think this. To feel this way. And every time you do think about “it” you quickly tuck it back into that deep corner and feel ashamed for even thinking it, no matter how brief.’
‘We will face them together’: Ms De Almeida said the most important thing is that she wouldn’t change any of it
Ms De Almeida said the most important thing is that she wouldn’t change any of it.
‘Not for a day, not for a minute, not even for a second. No matter how hard or challenging things become, no matter how many friends walk away, no matter how many cruel comments, no matter what health issues we will face, we will face them together,’ she concluded.
The adoring mother said she has had an amazing response from the post and encourages parents to speak to others who are in a similar situation.
‘Those friends soon become your cheerleaders’: The adoring mother said she has had an amazing response from the post and encourages parents to speak to others who are in a similar situation
‘So many other moms and dads out there that have commented or contacted me in regards to my post stating that they feel the same way. It’s comforting to know that there are other who share the same feelings and worries,’ Ms De Almeida told Daily Mail.
‘Everyone deals with things differently, but for me, I think its important to surround yourself with others who are going through the similar circumstances.
‘They are your sounding board. They can offer advice that maybe your other friends cannot understand or cannot relate to. Those friends soon become your cheerleaders.’