For 30 days, GPS for the Soul and meQuilibrium are providing you tips on how to live a healthier, happier and stress-free life. See the previous stress tips here.
Sometimes in order to reform our lives we have to revamp our habits. This week, we explained how just the smallest behavior changes can have the biggest impact on our anxiety levels. Take a look at this week’s five stress tips to help you restructure your life and kiss those worries goodbye.
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Look, you know this. The worse your sleep, the more vulnerable you are to thoughts and reactions that amp up your stress — which, in a painful irony, makes it harder to sleep. We talk in great detail about how to improve your sleep, but here’s one biggie: You need to create a buffer zone between wake and sleep.
This is a conscious, structured time to shift out of your busy mind and into the calmer state that allows you to sleep. To do this, try setting a go-to-sleep alarm. You likely use one to wake up — but why not give yourself a cue to put aside your work, chores, devices and even worrisome thoughts? First, decide when you want to be in bed and ready for sleep. Then set two alarms: one to cue the wind-down (say, to turn off the TV and begin your bedtime routine) and another for 30 minutes later to let you know it’s time to hit the hay. You’ll be doing yourself a favor by getting through the days without getting frazzled.
Read more about how to build better sleep habits.
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A packed schedule can be exciting — a sign that you’re killing it at work and at home. And yet, when you’re overbooked to the point of stress, you’re dancing so fast you stop noticing how exhausted or anxious you really are. Push yourself to be productive on every front all the time, and you will hit your red-alert stress levels and burn out. It won’t be pretty.
As we write in our new book, “It’s helpful to remember that we live exactly once.†It’s worth it to take the time to cool down your calendar and cut out something (even one thing!) that you really don’t need to do. Easiest step? Block out time in your week just to think about long-term and long-neglected things. If people ask to schedule an appointment then, tell them that you are committed (which you are). Pay attention to the thoughts, emotions and beliefs that come up around your schedule (especially the fear-based ones that tell you that if you cut anything, you’ll miss out on everything — which is highly unlikely). Resolve those and you’re on your way to a lot more breathing room.
Read more about how your thoughts and beliefs amp up your busyness.
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Sure, asking for help is great advice. You can’t go it alone. But we believe something more powerful: Giving and receiving are a continuous loop. If you accept support, you are better able to give it. And when you give help, you sow good will for when you need assistance in the future.
When you do good, you feel good. Offering help releases oxytocin, the hormone responsible for feelings of love and trust. Over time that generous behavior can quell your anxiety, reduce depression and maybe even increase lifespan. Offering help doesn’t have to be a big production, either. A five-minute favor, a random act of kindness, a mentoring lunch with a young colleague all count. So the next time you feel stress crowding out good thoughts, turn your attention to where you can give next — and shift your focus in a healthier, happier direction.
Read more on how to make giving a bigger part of your life.
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Listening is one of the most powerful ways to connect. When you listen, you affirm that the other person is worthy of your attention and respect. You gain more insight into this person; you also improve the quality of your relationships overall, which in turn provides you with much-needed support when you’re stressed or down. Whether it’s a 10-minute exchange on the subway or a chat over coffee, careful listening transforms an ordinary conversation to one that fosters growth and higher self-esteem.
The funny thing is, we all think we’re really good listeners, but we could be better. We don’t tap into our skills as often as we should.
Try this:
Find a quiet place to talk. Being interrupted kills the vibe.
Put the phone away. Nothing undercuts a conversation like a digital distraction.
Resist the urge to jump in. Fight this tendency, even if it springs from good intention. Wait until the other person finishes.
Pause. Allow a moment to pass before you jump in. It shows that you were really listening.Listening is not only vital to the life of your relationships. When done right, it strengthens your focus muscle. Soon you’ll become more focused on the tasks — and the people — in front of you.
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You’re stuffed to the gills with advice on why and how to eat more greens, get more exercise and meditate more (or at all). But how often are you told to get a steady diet of beautiful things?
Beauty is not just a nice add-on — it has a function and purpose, and it plays a real role in the quality of your life and mental state. Studies show patients heal faster when they have a view of the outside from bed, and we are naturally drawn to spaces that please our senses. This week, make it a priority to put yourself in front of something beautiful — natural or manmade.
Visit your favorite museum or take in a new exhibit; walk through a garden or your favorite furniture store. Even spending 20 minutes on Pinterest can deliver up loads of eye candy. Every little bit of beauty counts. As we say in our book, “Those who are most resilient schedule beauty and humor into their days rather than wait for these sources of joy to come to them.â€
Read more on how to pay attention to beauty.
–Posted by Lindsay Holmes
Learn more useful information about stress and your health! Order meQuilibrium’s new book, meQuilibrium: 14 Days to Cooler, Calmer, and Happier, co-authored by meQuilibrium CEO Jan Bruce, Adam Perlman, M.D., Chief Medical Officer, and Andrew Shatté, Ph.D., Chief Science Officer.